Friday, 19 September 2008

Inconsequential Things and Advice

I have a very sore throat (and all the other symptoms of man-flu). It hurts to talk. If people could STOP TELEPHONING ME for five minutes, that would be lovely. Though I'm not working - I'm in my designated illness dressing gown, drinking hot water and watching Jeremy Kyle.

Thanks to Kim for cheering me up last night.

This morning -

Me: "I can be all beautiful and femme! Look... this is a gorgeous feminine pose!"

Hagrid: "No... that's a very masculine pose."

Me: "Oh. What about this one?"

Hagrid: "Masculine."

Me: "I know... this one is feminine! You can't say it isn't!"

Hagrid: "Ew. That one's just... disturbing."

Also, you know when you are talking to someone who is vaguely familiar, and they mention that you met them in a bar/club, and you slowly realise that that night was one of horrible drunkenness and behaviour that was so embarrassing that NO I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR FOREVER, and you may have done anything from trying to seduce them to vomiting on their shoes, and you can't remember?

That happened to me on Wednesday. And has been happening all year. And I really, really wasn't a drunk fresher compared to the standards of most. By those standards, I was stone cold sober.

Here is my only piece of advice to my friend whom, after a foundation course, is off to uni now:


This is no moralistic tirade or expression of excessive interest in another's liver...

You'll avoid every single one of those moments! Isn't that just lovely?


David K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David K said...

If your were "Stone Cold Sober", then what the hell does that make me? Dead?

I have the feeling that a certain someone will ignore your advice as they don their mouse costume...

Sarah said...

Well, I spent my Freshers' Fortnight - yes, we get a Fortnight, but lectures, boo! - being rejected by David, getting depressed and actually attending lectures. No wild parties, or mad drunkenness. I went to a debating competition instead! Woo.

Then I spent portions of the rest of the year living out the Liver Attack I should have been doing in my first few weeks.

After Estonia, I'm not sure Liver and I will ever quite be on speaking terms again. Ha.

Silverback said...

The most worrying thing about this post was learning that you watch Jeremy Kyle.

Maybe it was a one off aberration. Maybe it was your illness. Yes that'll be it.

Get well soon.

Oliver A. FP said...

D - you're DEAD INSIDE. Anyway. kisses

Mac - It's like improving one's own life, only easier, and produces the same happiness... *has realised that he can't spell schadenf- scha- yes*

Daphne said...

When you were at school I used to find you watching The History Channel. Now it's Jeremy Kyle. Should I be worried by your apparent dumbing down? Or delighted by your new interest in pyschology? I hope your cold will get better soon and (crucially) that you haven't given it to me. Ah, the selflessness of parents.

Daphne said...

And that spelling mistake in my last comment was just there to see if you would notice. Honest.