Entrenched stereotypes

Obviously, people see what they expect to see. Obviously, if someone has been fed the stereotype of black men being scary, dangerous, criminals, etc. they will remember and recount the ethnicity of the mugger when a young black man steals their wallet, and forget about race altogether when they're recounting their other three muggings by young white men.

And obviously, they won't remember the race of the black man who holds the door open for them, smiles nicely at them in the street, etc.

(I was thinking of that particular example because I've had too many accounts like that from white people, recently - "This BLACK man assaulted me" vs "These men assaulted me" and "I thought he was going to attack me because he was black, and then he did" - well, yes, but also NO! logic FAIL! you eejit.

Anyway, this insightful post reminded me that, in the case of stereotypes about trans people, the need for many of us to pass as non-trans adds an extra layer of difficulty.

The post points out the doublethink inherent in social attitudes to trans women - that all trans women can somehow be hilariously obvious "men in dresses", AND "deceptive" enough in their exact "portrayal" of femininity to "trick" nice young men.

The second concept is more dangerous than the first, of course - it ensures that trans women are murdered, and their killers get off with a slap on the wrist. It gives an excuse to deny trans women employment, etc.

However, the first stereotype ensures that trans women are mocked and ridiculed.

Of course, if a trans woman passes as non-trans, it's impossible to tell that she is trans. That's... kind of the point. So, the first stereotype continues - the average person has only noticed trans women who, in their eyes, look "humorous."

We need to get rid of this concept that a male-assigned person in female-assigned clothing is inherently funny. I'm not sure how, in real terms, we manage that - ban humourous drag shows? Banning things is generally not the way to go...

But anyway, less seriously, it made me laugh how tenaciously stereotypes, particularly this one, hang on. I went on a trip, to an undisclosed location, with a cis male friend and a friend who is a trans woman. This cis male friend has been known to act with even less tact than myself. Therefore, a while before the trip, I said to him "You might notice that my friend is trans. Please, please don't say anything incredibly appalling. Kthx."

Although this particular trans woman passes as non-trans, she didn't seem too bothered about people knowing on this occasion, or perhaps she just assumed that everyone did. So when we were in our little group, she talked about her obstinate stubble, not being able to take off her trousers because she hadn't packed more forgiving undergarments, how she'd been on hormones for enough time to compete in the Olympics, had she wanted to do so... And throughout the trip, my cis male friend, indeed, said nothing incredibly appalling.

On the final day, I was with that friend, and I was talking about something to do with trans... ness, I forget what. "It's like this for me, but for some trans women like *name of trans woman friend*, it's..."

Whereupon, my cis male friend stared with eyes like saucers. "She's trans???"

She just didn't look enough like a hairy lumberjack in a frock, it seems. Thus, the evidence of his own ears could be discounted.

Whee!

I'm not continuously miserable any more!

Living as a woman, I was always down.

Now I'm only sometimes miserable.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating...

I say, it's lunchtime!

But I oughtn't really to leave the office empty. The other chap is having some difficulties moving house, so isn't here - incidentally, when Hagrid helped Kim to move house, one of them tidily packed his car keys. Or was it the new house keys? At the bottom of the bottom box.

Anyway, yes. Don't know why I just told that scintillating story.

Oh yes - I'm very pleased with myself. Here's why -

I was at the supermarket last night, when a charming youth ran up to me and shouted, "WHY ARE YOU WEARING FUCKING MAKEUP YOU FUCKING POOF" in my face.

This pleases me for two reasons.

Firstly, I've been practising keeping my temper. I very rarely lose it with someone I know, but when chavs hurled abuse (at me or anyone, especially girls or vulnerable-looking people) I used to hurl abuse back, and hurl my whole self at them if I figured I could take them on (which was rare, because they obviously hunt in packs).

That was why I got so many beatings at school - I couldn't keep my mouth shut, and didn't have the physique to match my testosterone levels...

(Actually, I reacted quite differently to bullying from males or females. I'd get really fucking angry at boys, but girls always managed to make me cry).

So, I'd have a problem if I tried to follow the advice they give to mugging victims - don't make eye contact, just hand over the stuff, it's worth less than your life, etc. I know that I'd say "No, fuck you, that's my stuff," and stare them straight in the eye.

I was incredulous, and impressed, when my friend recently followed the advice to the letter. I would be in hospital if our places were exchanged, or I would have died too young to decide upon a decent funeral playlist (actually, those particular muggers weren't too hardcore - just hospital).

So, I have to keep reminding myself, "Someone mental enough to randomly scream at you or mug you is certainly mental enough to stab you in the gut. Which, I've heard, is unpleasant. Oliver, don't react."

And I didn't react yesterday... OK, that's a lie. I did call him a cunt - but only when I was out of possible knife-range.

That's progress, right?

Secondly, the more obvious reason: WHEE! O superbly passable me! I got called a poof! And I am a poof! EXACTLY RIGHT! Fifty points! And I obviously wasn't trying - the eye make-up.

That makes up for several of the latest people assuming I'm a butch dyke.

Which, incidentally, makes me wonder whether any of those people have eyes. How butch am I, exactly? Where is my pickup truck and my ability to lift pianos? How many seconds of sports talk does it take before I beat myself into unconsciousness?

Thoughts...

Firstly, here's my tattoo (the angle's a bit off, so it looks a bit squashed, but it's the only pic I currently have).




OH YES, five hundred geek points please. Kthx.

More pensively:

Here's a murder trial ruling that has escaped the usual "disability panic" defence.

People are slowly, slowly starting to get the idea that murdering a disabled child is not a "mercy killing" or "for the best" - comments that have been everywhere after reports of similar murders; not just in the more fascist corners of the internet and in the more fascist newspapers, but everywhere.

However, the progress of this understanding that disability is not the end of the world has come too late for the little girl in question, Naomi Hill.

And over in the US, a "trans panic" defence has been (almost, this is a preliminary hearing) thrown out, ensuring that the killer of a young trans woman named Angie Zapata will be charged with first-degree murder (anyone who assumes that a murder charge for the murderer of a trans woman is normal needs to do some extensive reading on the thousands of similar cases).

Two signs of real progress, and two reasons to hope. Maybe the world, after all, is becoming a more humane place.

But, again, too late for Angie Zapata and Naomi Hill.

I'm not sure what to think.

I Like Corpse Paint and I Cannot Lie

In other news, Buck Angel, trans porn hero, says some darned stupid things in this interview.

Here we go:

Here, he doesn't like guys having fundraisers for their surgery:

"Buck worked two jobs to pay for his surgery, and the sense of pride that comes along with that achievement itself nicely complements the satisfaction of finally feeling comfortable in one’s own skin. “But a boob-cutting-off party?” he asks. “What the fuck is that?""

Oh Buck, you absolute fucking moron. Shall we look over the stats and find out what percentage of trans Americans can get jobs? Because of, y'know, the lack of employment legislation protecting gender identity?

Also, WHY do we (theoretically) get SRS on the NHS here? Because many transsexual people can't function without it - it's a medical necessity. If you're not those people, fine - but you could recognise their existence. So, the real issue is that there is no Health Service in many countries.

And that's disgusting, yes? We on the same page? If we're not, anybody, and you want to give me the "pulling-self-up-by-bootstraps" SHITE so commonly thrown out by Americans, who are MYSTERIOUSLY all white and able-bodied and have never been ill in their whole fucking lives?

Nope, let's not have a go at the system. Let's have a go at individuals with gender dysphoria and no money, because that's far more helpful.

Another gem:

“It just seems so female,” Buck says of the trend, "

Hooray! Let's... rip into trans people's identities! 'Cause we really need that. If a cis man threw a similar event, everyone with a brain would be all "Hooray! It's so nice that men are shedding their Neanderthal* stereotypes, helping one another and talking about their feelings! That's really good for their mental health."

But because they're trans, it's open season on their identities.

Buck reminds me of Jayne Cobb in the face - but when it happens personality-wise, that's less good.

Other trans people are more likely to understand that you're a man than anyone else, Buck - so don't throw out comments like that while trying to prove how MANLY and MASCULINE and VERY VERY MANLY you are to everyone else. We're actually your biggest allies, your fellow men with vaginas.

When some trans moron gives you trouble because he's got a surgical dick and you haven't, just berate him for being classist (and stop being classist yourself), mention all the other guys happy with what Nature gave them, and move on. Don't rip into the rest of us.

On a vaguely similar note, I wish there were more depictions of masculinity in movies. I don't find the clean-cut American clone version very attractive... Humans, please, not Ken dolls. Humans with wind-blown hair and beards and more than two facial expressions, and, and, Nordic battleaxes.

Yeah, last night I found SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Harvey more interesting *after* half his face melted END SPOILER, that's how bored I am by that whole look.





*I don't intend to contribute to Homo Neanderthalensis' (not Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis, FOOLS, incidentally) bad press. It's just the way people often put it.

A Big Trans Post, from a small trans person

Yup, there's so much work coming in today. Look at all the typing I am doing. It must be work. Problem is, you leave the office unstaffed for an hour and you get two calls, viz:

1)"Hello, Spielberg here. I would like to give Actor Z this leading role. The fee will be five squillion dollars."

2)"Hello, Spielberg here. No-one has got back to me yet. Your agency is obviously not to be trusted. I have given the part to Brad Pitt."

So... I are the bored.

Apparently, the trans stuff on this here weblog could be "confusing". I've written real SRS BZNS* trans stuff? I thought I just wrote inane rubbish about dragons?

I'm sure I don't need to do a trans FAQ for morons, the ZOMG, transwomen aren't just men in dresses, really? kind. So, I'll assume that the reader is not mind-numbingly, wilfully stupid, shall I? Good.

Here are facts and links, then, in an almost entirely random order. They will probably be about trans guys, female genderqueers, etc. - trans women, etc. deserve a very long post of their own.

1) This confused me for ages, and I ended up offending some British trans people: "transgender" means different things in the US and the UK. In the US, it is generally used as an umbrella term that encompasses ALL trans people. In the UK, it doesn't encompass binary transsexual people - the people you mostly hear about when trans issues are discussed.

2) It is possible to be both transsexual and transgender - I've heard trans people of both types suggest that it's not. You can have a different brain sex to your physical sex, and a gender identity that does not fit within the norms of your culture. It's statistically unlikely, but hell, there are black lesbian one-legged Jews out there, and I bet they're fed up of the "unlikely member of society" jokes. You could be physically intersexed as well, as a matter of fact.

3) Queer trans guys are quite common. We are not girls. Otherwise, all queer non-trans guys would actually be girls, and the number of transsexual women would increase quite dramatically (yes, I know that all but the goons referred to above should be able to understand this - but... they don't).

This is mainly a sexual health booklet, but it's got pictures of gay trans guys being decidedly... gay. And having lots of fun, it seems. Probably NSFW... depends on where you work, I suppose.

4) Sexual and reproductive health is a Good Thing, while I think on - this is one of the few areas in which trans people need to be treated according to their anatomy, not their brain sex or gender. But, be tactful about it?

5) Not many trans guys have genital surgery. Some, like me, aren't bothered either way (or would sooner chew off their own arms than allow a SCALPEL near their GENITALS - I have sympathy with that view as well); some just don't want "Frankenstein's Cock" as one guy put it - the available surgery leaves many guys dissatisfied.

6) BINGO! For those not familiar with the meme, people have been creating internets bingo cards about "contentious" issues for a while - for example, one about race might talk about the *very friendly* social masochist that I so often mention. So, these are things NOT to say.

7) Raven Kaldera suggests here that you don't say "but you're so short!" to a trans guy. I concur.

8) I can't find the Questionable Content comic that coins** the word "boobsplosion" to describe the act of a trans guy unbinding his breasts. Anyone want to post a link?

9) Erm... half-naked trans guys? Not very diverse. They mainly look like... well, me, were I all testosteroned-up. They're rather more attractive, though.

10) There's a stereotype about trans guys taking Women's Studies courses, in the hope that they'll find their inner woman. They don't, but they emerge with the ability to spot sexism from a mile off. When you meet a trans guy who is SRSLY FEMINIST, like me, don't get confused if he looks male - there could be reasons for that greater understanding.

11) While anti-trans violence disproportionately effects trans women (and ethnic minorities - like all random violence, it's generally racist and sexist as well as whatever else) I have to link to the Remembering Our Dead list. There are plenty of trans men, female genderqueers, etc. on there. The threat of violence is a daily reality for many of us. If I lived in a different neighbourhood, had different family or "friends" or a different skin colour, it would be close to miraculous if I was around to write this. Which brings me neatly to:

12) Trans people are not exaggerating about their experiences of discrimination. Yes, some of them are unbelievable; yes, they seem like stories from some Third World dictatorship, not modern Western "civilisation". But, they are true. Of course, that applies to many more well-known types of discrimination, too.

I'm not sure why I numbered these. They were disparate thoughts in my head.

Don't you feel informed now? Or not? Any questions?





*ha, the abbreviation of "serious" reads like Sex Reassignment Surgery, which is a little bit genital-obsessed as a name, is't not?

**it's not a coinage, it's a blending. Very few words are true coinages. Thought you might like to know that***

***why, I have no idea.

Toiletgate, part fifty gazillion

I quite fancied going to Pride London this year, and would have done had I not been in Wales with my family.

But, as it turns out, the L! G!! B ...t movement is as farsighted as ever...

And wait just one second - the toilet options, AT PRIDE, which is an LGBT PRIDE EVENT, you know, an EVENT that celebrates LGBT PRIDE, are "men's", "women's" and "disabled"?

Oh, the stupid. The burning, burning stupid.

If I wasn't in a gay relationship, my homophobia would rival that of the Pope or Jeremy Clarkson, thanks to this kind of nonsense.

Oh, and Reason for Trans Separatism no. 1753, of which I have just thought: doesn't Joe Public have the words TRANSSEXUAL, SEX, SEX SEX SEX, SHEMALE, SEX and SEX all mixed up in his head? Just before he makes something sticky?

Therefore, isn't incorporation in a homosexual and bisexual initialism going to muddy the waters a bit more? Encourage people to think about an ev0l autogynephilic rapist straw man, rather than, you know, trans women?

I suppose there's the bigger issue of the perception that L, G, B and Q "lifestyles" are all about sex, that partnership and love don't get a look-in.

And the obvious fact that bigots don't differentiate between, say, a camp gay man, a male genderqueer and a trans woman.

So, we do rather need to be fighting shoulder to shoulder. I just wish that our supposed allies would make that a bit easier.