This kind o'stuff...

Is why a large chunk of the population avoid religious matters altogether.

Here we go... (I've cluttered up the comments with my shock at that behaviour).

When a Christian is bereaved, and writes a piece about it online, do atheist bloggers (not anonymous trolls, real people) comment with "Look, there is no afterlife. NO AFTERLIFE."?

No. Because, you see, that would be no place to discuss theology or politics.

I don't care if the comment was intended to be "friendly" or "helpful". What comes across instead? "Ah, this agnostic woman feels vulnerable and unhappy. I'll get her converted while she's mentally too weak to resist."

As a regular reader of that blog, that commenter is perfectly aware that my dead grandfather was an atheist. He raged against religious indoctrination and cruelty until he died (if anyone's interested, for him the main issue was how religion is used to keep oppressed people down - y'know, the whole message of "all things bright and beautiful" etc.).

I know many, many very good people of many faiths. It's a cliche, I know, but I don't want to bash all religion (here my grandfather and I would part ways, he did!).

But now, you see, he is DEAD. And my mother is bereaved.

On various Trans Day of Remembrance threads on the interwebs, someone always turned up to argue issues of feminist and queer theory.

That behaviour was wrong, and this behaviour is also wrong. I'm aware it is the interwebs, free speech and all that, but you wouldn't do it in a conversation.