Firstly, I haven't read any good novels this summer - I've been reading factual books about bones and death rituals.
Does anyone have any reccommendations novel-wise?
Secondly, I'm about to go and visit my grandad in hospital, but am doing very little else other than dreading travelling tomorrow.
Thirdly, I was asked to define "cis-" as in cis woman, cis man, cis person.
"Cis" just means "non-trans". So, "cissexual" means non-transsexual, and "cisgender" means non-transgender.
Why do we need this piece of "jargon"? Why not just say "non-trans"?
Now, monotheistic religious people are welcome to refuse to use "cis-", because they believe that God created Normal Default Humans, and that trans people deviate from those norms - thus, Normal Default Humans need no label, and deviations do.
However, the majority of people I know are not religious lunatics, so need to scrap the idea of the Normal Default Human, understanding that trans people have existed in every society and in all periods of human existence. Therefore, we are products of the natural diversity that keeps species alive.
For example, I've heard American politicians use the phrase "people and black people" a few times, and don't wish to do so again.
Some of them were Democrats.
You can't make this stuff up.
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Monday, 28 July 2008
Sunday, 27 July 2008
Nomenclature
I've found, as I'm sure every other trans person on the planet has found, that a lot of people think that using my old name is OK. Whether their reasoning is "I knew this person before" or "I just keep forgetting" or "This person is surely just going to use hir name as a nickname anyway", the result is still the same.
Now, all this reasoning is sensible. That's why I'm not angry with the people who still use nothing but my old name, or *almost* nothing, or use my real name in a *jokey* fashion.
So, this is an educational post, which explains what many trans people (i.e. all trans people with a readin' bent, who thus know a bit about trans history; or all people whose lives have been blighted by transphobic violence) understand to be the connotations of such actions.
Edit: I had a long and boring analogy here... it was long, boring and pointless. It was about connotations of language use that only the recipient is likely to understand.
Use of a trans person's old name without apology will always connote the words and actions of people who actively refuse to use the new one. Those people will include, depending on the trans person:
Harold Johnson, who had changed his name to "Joanne" (or whoever)
Harold Johnson, who preferred to be called "Joanne"
I don't want to link to any of the hundreds floating about the web - I read them once to take in the information, but don't want to give bigoted people any more traffic.
Do you see how these journalists become complicit in rape and murder (because it's nearly always both)? The best-known real-life case:
1) Brandon Teena is raped, to prove he is "really a woman" and can thus be raped like one
2) Brandon Teena is murdered, because he was "deceitful", because he was "really a woman"
3) Brandon Teena is referred to as Teena Brandon in all media coverage, because he is "really a woman"
Well, as long as we know, that removes all the little details of, what was it? Rape and murder or something...
However, the majority of transphobic violence is still against trans women. This is the usual story; a trans woman is rejected by her family (who obviously wouldn't use her real name) from a young age for being trans; or can't get a job (her potential employer wouldn't use her real name, would they?) because she's trans; so she is working in the sex trade or at least sleeping with abusive men that she wouldn't otherwise go near, because she needs support. One of her clients or boyfriends murders her, and the half-inch of media coverage does not use her real name.
I said I'd make this post coherent when I was awake... well, I haven't.
But the point is... "David, sorry, I mean Elaine" is the sentence that trans people will weep with joy to hear, if you (understandably) forget our names.
Incidentally, I'm full of insatiable curiosity, so I've asked every post-social-transition trans person I know "What was your birth name?"
Some people will find that perfectly fine, because I've previously established that it's just general nosiness rather than an attempt to discredit their identity...
Some will always hate it, because they've got some understandable sensitivity over the issue.
I never said I had all the answers.
Now, all this reasoning is sensible. That's why I'm not angry with the people who still use nothing but my old name, or *almost* nothing, or use my real name in a *jokey* fashion.
So, this is an educational post, which explains what many trans people (i.e. all trans people with a readin' bent, who thus know a bit about trans history; or all people whose lives have been blighted by transphobic violence) understand to be the connotations of such actions.
Edit: I had a long and boring analogy here... it was long, boring and pointless. It was about connotations of language use that only the recipient is likely to understand.
Use of a trans person's old name without apology will always connote the words and actions of people who actively refuse to use the new one. Those people will include, depending on the trans person:
- Friends and family members who couldn't accept hir, and thus cut hir out of their lives - and if you are family or good friends, then the trans person will have heard enough horror stories from hir trans friends for hir to dread a similar situation.
- Public figures who promote transphobia.
- Their obituaries and reports of their murders.
Harold Johnson, who had changed his name to "Joanne" (or whoever)
Harold Johnson, who preferred to be called "Joanne"
I don't want to link to any of the hundreds floating about the web - I read them once to take in the information, but don't want to give bigoted people any more traffic.
Do you see how these journalists become complicit in rape and murder (because it's nearly always both)? The best-known real-life case:
1) Brandon Teena is raped, to prove he is "really a woman" and can thus be raped like one
2) Brandon Teena is murdered, because he was "deceitful", because he was "really a woman"
3) Brandon Teena is referred to as Teena Brandon in all media coverage, because he is "really a woman"
Well, as long as we know, that removes all the little details of, what was it? Rape and murder or something...
However, the majority of transphobic violence is still against trans women. This is the usual story; a trans woman is rejected by her family (who obviously wouldn't use her real name) from a young age for being trans; or can't get a job (her potential employer wouldn't use her real name, would they?) because she's trans; so she is working in the sex trade or at least sleeping with abusive men that she wouldn't otherwise go near, because she needs support. One of her clients or boyfriends murders her, and the half-inch of media coverage does not use her real name.
I said I'd make this post coherent when I was awake... well, I haven't.
But the point is... "David, sorry, I mean Elaine" is the sentence that trans people will weep with joy to hear, if you (understandably) forget our names.
Incidentally, I'm full of insatiable curiosity, so I've asked every post-social-transition trans person I know "What was your birth name?"
Some people will find that perfectly fine, because I've previously established that it's just general nosiness rather than an attempt to discredit their identity...
Some will always hate it, because they've got some understandable sensitivity over the issue.
I never said I had all the answers.
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Autism
Silverback has asked how autism affects me.
This - read the post "A Serious Discussion", currently the third post down - is how autism affects me.
That kind of thing happens to me pretty much continuously.
IF I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, IT'S NOT BECAUSE "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU", UNLESS YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING TRULY HORRIBLE. IT'S BECAUSE MY COMMUNICATION RESOURCES HAVE BEEN EXPENDED.
(In a nutshell, however - I'm both extremely intelligent and extremely retarded. I average out to an average person in some aspects - for example, my uni grades).
This - read the post "A Serious Discussion", currently the third post down - is how autism affects me.
That kind of thing happens to me pretty much continuously.
IF I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, IT'S NOT BECAUSE "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU", UNLESS YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING TRULY HORRIBLE. IT'S BECAUSE MY COMMUNICATION RESOURCES HAVE BEEN EXPENDED.
(In a nutshell, however - I'm both extremely intelligent and extremely retarded. I average out to an average person in some aspects - for example, my uni grades).
Friday, 25 July 2008
Bearlesque!
Gareth has found a new vocation - when he grows up, he doesn't WANT to be an IT guy any more, he wants to join these guys.
He's given me my birthday present early... and it's an ipod... and he's had it engraved.
This is my *well impressed* face.
lovelovelovelovelove.
He's given me my birthday present early... and it's an ipod... and he's had it engraved.
This is my *well impressed* face.
lovelovelovelovelove.
I Like Corpse Paint and I Cannot Lie
In other news, Buck Angel, trans porn hero, says some darned stupid things in this interview.
Here we go:
Here, he doesn't like guys having fundraisers for their surgery:
"Buck worked two jobs to pay for his surgery, and the sense of pride that comes along with that achievement itself nicely complements the satisfaction of finally feeling comfortable in one’s own skin. “But a boob-cutting-off party?” he asks. “What the fuck is that?""
Oh Buck, you absolute fucking moron. Shall we look over the stats and find out what percentage of trans Americans can get jobs? Because of, y'know, the lack of employment legislation protecting gender identity?
Also, WHY do we (theoretically) get SRS on the NHS here? Because many transsexual people can't function without it - it's a medical necessity. If you're not those people, fine - but you could recognise their existence. So, the real issue is that there is no Health Service in many countries.
And that's disgusting, yes? We on the same page? If we're not, anybody, and you want to give me the "pulling-self-up-by-bootstraps" SHITE so commonly thrown out by Americans, who are MYSTERIOUSLY all white and able-bodied and have never been ill in their whole fucking lives?
Nope, let's not have a go at the system. Let's have a go at individuals with gender dysphoria and no money, because that's far more helpful.
Another gem:
“It just seems so female,” Buck says of the trend, "
Hooray! Let's... rip into trans people's identities! 'Cause we really need that. If a cis man threw a similar event, everyone with a brain would be all "Hooray! It's so nice that men are shedding their Neanderthal* stereotypes, helping one another and talking about their feelings! That's really good for their mental health."
But because they're trans, it's open season on their identities.
Buck reminds me of Jayne Cobb in the face - but when it happens personality-wise, that's less good.
Other trans people are more likely to understand that you're a man than anyone else, Buck - so don't throw out comments like that while trying to prove how MANLY and MASCULINE and VERY VERY MANLY you are to everyone else. We're actually your biggest allies, your fellow men with vaginas.
When some trans moron gives you trouble because he's got a surgical dick and you haven't, just berate him for being classist (and stop being classist yourself), mention all the other guys happy with what Nature gave them, and move on. Don't rip into the rest of us.
On a vaguely similar note, I wish there were more depictions of masculinity in movies. I don't find the clean-cut American clone version very attractive... Humans, please, not Ken dolls. Humans with wind-blown hair and beards and more than two facial expressions, and, and, Nordic battleaxes.
Yeah, last night I found SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Harvey more interesting *after* half his face melted END SPOILER, that's how bored I am by that whole look.
*I don't intend to contribute to Homo Neanderthalensis' (not Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis, FOOLS, incidentally) bad press. It's just the way people often put it.
Here we go:
Here, he doesn't like guys having fundraisers for their surgery:
"Buck worked two jobs to pay for his surgery, and the sense of pride that comes along with that achievement itself nicely complements the satisfaction of finally feeling comfortable in one’s own skin. “But a boob-cutting-off party?” he asks. “What the fuck is that?""
Oh Buck, you absolute fucking moron. Shall we look over the stats and find out what percentage of trans Americans can get jobs? Because of, y'know, the lack of employment legislation protecting gender identity?
Also, WHY do we (theoretically) get SRS on the NHS here? Because many transsexual people can't function without it - it's a medical necessity. If you're not those people, fine - but you could recognise their existence. So, the real issue is that there is no Health Service in many countries.
And that's disgusting, yes? We on the same page? If we're not, anybody, and you want to give me the "pulling-self-up-by-bootstraps" SHITE so commonly thrown out by Americans, who are MYSTERIOUSLY all white and able-bodied and have never been ill in their whole fucking lives?
Nope, let's not have a go at the system. Let's have a go at individuals with gender dysphoria and no money, because that's far more helpful.
Another gem:
“It just seems so female,” Buck says of the trend, "
Hooray! Let's... rip into trans people's identities! 'Cause we really need that. If a cis man threw a similar event, everyone with a brain would be all "Hooray! It's so nice that men are shedding their Neanderthal* stereotypes, helping one another and talking about their feelings! That's really good for their mental health."
But because they're trans, it's open season on their identities.
Buck reminds me of Jayne Cobb in the face - but when it happens personality-wise, that's less good.
Other trans people are more likely to understand that you're a man than anyone else, Buck - so don't throw out comments like that while trying to prove how MANLY and MASCULINE and VERY VERY MANLY you are to everyone else. We're actually your biggest allies, your fellow men with vaginas.
When some trans moron gives you trouble because he's got a surgical dick and you haven't, just berate him for being classist (and stop being classist yourself), mention all the other guys happy with what Nature gave them, and move on. Don't rip into the rest of us.
On a vaguely similar note, I wish there were more depictions of masculinity in movies. I don't find the clean-cut American clone version very attractive... Humans, please, not Ken dolls. Humans with wind-blown hair and beards and more than two facial expressions, and, and, Nordic battleaxes.
Yeah, last night I found SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Harvey more interesting *after* half his face melted END SPOILER, that's how bored I am by that whole look.
*I don't intend to contribute to Homo Neanderthalensis' (not Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis, FOOLS, incidentally) bad press. It's just the way people often put it.
Fools
Yesterday, my friend David was discussing the stupidity of the customers who phone his company. He says they get a heck of a lot of Daily Mail readers, and a lot of people who can't do basic adding up "I've just phoned you to ask what £21.99 plus £4.99 is".
Hmm, could the two things POSSIBLY be connected? Perhaps they think that maths is deeply suspect, as it was invented by Asians.
In the same vein m00nlogicwise, I mention that the US Religious Reich is now boycotting McDonald's (I'm not linking to that kind of website!) because it scored 85 on a "Corporate Equality Index" (i.e. it has pledged not to be homophobic).
Me: "But... what will they eat now? I thought American bigots ate lots of fast food. Are they gonna lose a lot of weight? What are they going to eat instead?"
David: "KFC?"
L: (deadpan) "Negroes."
Laugh now, and you're a Bad Person. Don't laugh, and you might have had your sense of humour surgically removed.
Incidentally, this conversation was on the way to the cinema to see The Dark Knight (review: stuff asploded). Directly behind me in the cinema was The World's Fifth Most Annoying Person, whom I will henceforth call Daft Bint.
Daft Bint was obviously under the impression that the film *really* needed ad libbing, and God had chosen her for the task. Also, she took a while to understand the very predictable plot twists, but she made sure her boyfriend knew about them once she did.
"HE DIDN'T THINK THAT THROUGH, DID HE?"
"OH, OH THAT'S CLEVER."
"OOOOOOOH." (not an orgasm, a noise of excitement whenever something blew up... or there was an action scene of any stripe... or, when anything happened, really)
Also, she couldn't sit still for over a microsecond.
Ascuse me, I has fed you your own mouth.
I'd better add a disclaimer: Y'know, I don't hang around with people who would *really* use the word "Negro".
Hmm, could the two things POSSIBLY be connected? Perhaps they think that maths is deeply suspect, as it was invented by Asians.
In the same vein m00nlogicwise, I mention that the US Religious Reich is now boycotting McDonald's (I'm not linking to that kind of website!) because it scored 85 on a "Corporate Equality Index" (i.e. it has pledged not to be homophobic).
Me: "But... what will they eat now? I thought American bigots ate lots of fast food. Are they gonna lose a lot of weight? What are they going to eat instead?"
David: "KFC?"
L: (deadpan) "Negroes."
Laugh now, and you're a Bad Person. Don't laugh, and you might have had your sense of humour surgically removed.
Incidentally, this conversation was on the way to the cinema to see The Dark Knight (review: stuff asploded). Directly behind me in the cinema was The World's Fifth Most Annoying Person, whom I will henceforth call Daft Bint.
Daft Bint was obviously under the impression that the film *really* needed ad libbing, and God had chosen her for the task. Also, she took a while to understand the very predictable plot twists, but she made sure her boyfriend knew about them once she did.
"HE DIDN'T THINK THAT THROUGH, DID HE?"
"OH, OH THAT'S CLEVER."
"OOOOOOOH." (not an orgasm, a noise of excitement whenever something blew up... or there was an action scene of any stripe... or, when anything happened, really)
Also, she couldn't sit still for over a microsecond.
Ascuse me, I has fed you your own mouth.
I'd better add a disclaimer: Y'know, I don't hang around with people who would *really* use the word "Negro".
Thursday, 24 July 2008
A Big Trans Post, from a small trans person
Yup, there's so much work coming in today. Look at all the typing I am doing. It must be work. Problem is, you leave the office unstaffed for an hour and you get two calls, viz:
1)"Hello, Spielberg here. I would like to give Actor Z this leading role. The fee will be five squillion dollars."
2)"Hello, Spielberg here. No-one has got back to me yet. Your agency is obviously not to be trusted. I have given the part to Brad Pitt."
So... I are the bored.
Apparently, the trans stuff on this here weblog could be "confusing". I've written real SRS BZNS* trans stuff? I thought I just wrote inane rubbish about dragons?
I'm sure I don't need to do a trans FAQ for morons, the ZOMG, transwomen aren't just men in dresses, really? kind. So, I'll assume that the reader is not mind-numbingly, wilfully stupid, shall I? Good.
Here are facts and links, then, in an almost entirely random order. They will probably be about trans guys, female genderqueers, etc. - trans women, etc. deserve a very long post of their own.
1) This confused me for ages, and I ended up offending some British trans people: "transgender" means different things in the US and the UK. In the US, it is generally used as an umbrella term that encompasses ALL trans people. In the UK, it doesn't encompass binary transsexual people - the people you mostly hear about when trans issues are discussed.
2) It is possible to be both transsexual and transgender - I've heard trans people of both types suggest that it's not. You can have a different brain sex to your physical sex, and a gender identity that does not fit within the norms of your culture. It's statistically unlikely, but hell, there are black lesbian one-legged Jews out there, and I bet they're fed up of the "unlikely member of society" jokes. You could be physically intersexed as well, as a matter of fact.
3) Queer trans guys are quite common. We are not girls. Otherwise, all queer non-trans guys would actually be girls, and the number of transsexual women would increase quite dramatically (yes, I know that all but the goons referred to above should be able to understand this - but... they don't).
This is mainly a sexual health booklet, but it's got pictures of gay trans guys being decidedly... gay. And having lots of fun, it seems. Probably NSFW... depends on where you work, I suppose.
4) Sexual and reproductive health is a Good Thing, while I think on - this is one of the few areas in which trans people need to be treated according to their anatomy, not their brain sex or gender. But, be tactful about it?
5) Not many trans guys have genital surgery. Some, like me, aren't bothered either way (or would sooner chew off their own arms than allow a SCALPEL near their GENITALS - I have sympathy with that view as well); some just don't want "Frankenstein's Cock" as one guy put it - the available surgery leaves many guys dissatisfied.
6) BINGO! For those not familiar with the meme, people have been creating internets bingo cards about "contentious" issues for a while - for example, one about race might talk about the *very friendly* social masochist that I so often mention. So, these are things NOT to say.
7) Raven Kaldera suggests here that you don't say "but you're so short!" to a trans guy. I concur.
8) I can't find the Questionable Content comic that coins** the word "boobsplosion" to describe the act of a trans guy unbinding his breasts. Anyone want to post a link?
9) Erm... half-naked trans guys? Not very diverse. They mainly look like... well, me, were I all testosteroned-up. They're rather more attractive, though.
10) There's a stereotype about trans guys taking Women's Studies courses, in the hope that they'll find their inner woman. They don't, but they emerge with the ability to spot sexism from a mile off. When you meet a trans guy who is SRSLY FEMINIST, like me, don't get confused if he looks male - there could be reasons for that greater understanding.
11) While anti-trans violence disproportionately effects trans women (and ethnic minorities - like all random violence, it's generally racist and sexist as well as whatever else) I have to link to the Remembering Our Dead list. There are plenty of trans men, female genderqueers, etc. on there. The threat of violence is a daily reality for many of us. If I lived in a different neighbourhood, had different family or "friends" or a different skin colour, it would be close to miraculous if I was around to write this. Which brings me neatly to:
12) Trans people are not exaggerating about their experiences of discrimination. Yes, some of them are unbelievable; yes, they seem like stories from some Third World dictatorship, not modern Western "civilisation". But, they are true. Of course, that applies to many more well-known types of discrimination, too.
I'm not sure why I numbered these. They were disparate thoughts in my head.
Don't you feel informed now? Or not? Any questions?
*ha, the abbreviation of "serious" reads like Sex Reassignment Surgery, which is a little bit genital-obsessed as a name, is't not?
**it's not a coinage, it's a blending. Very few words are true coinages. Thought you might like to know that***
***why, I have no idea.
1)"Hello, Spielberg here. I would like to give Actor Z this leading role. The fee will be five squillion dollars."
2)"Hello, Spielberg here. No-one has got back to me yet. Your agency is obviously not to be trusted. I have given the part to Brad Pitt."
So... I are the bored.
Apparently, the trans stuff on this here weblog could be "confusing". I've written real SRS BZNS* trans stuff? I thought I just wrote inane rubbish about dragons?
I'm sure I don't need to do a trans FAQ for morons, the ZOMG, transwomen aren't just men in dresses, really? kind. So, I'll assume that the reader is not mind-numbingly, wilfully stupid, shall I? Good.
Here are facts and links, then, in an almost entirely random order. They will probably be about trans guys, female genderqueers, etc. - trans women, etc. deserve a very long post of their own.
1) This confused me for ages, and I ended up offending some British trans people: "transgender" means different things in the US and the UK. In the US, it is generally used as an umbrella term that encompasses ALL trans people. In the UK, it doesn't encompass binary transsexual people - the people you mostly hear about when trans issues are discussed.
2) It is possible to be both transsexual and transgender - I've heard trans people of both types suggest that it's not. You can have a different brain sex to your physical sex, and a gender identity that does not fit within the norms of your culture. It's statistically unlikely, but hell, there are black lesbian one-legged Jews out there, and I bet they're fed up of the "unlikely member of society" jokes. You could be physically intersexed as well, as a matter of fact.
3) Queer trans guys are quite common. We are not girls. Otherwise, all queer non-trans guys would actually be girls, and the number of transsexual women would increase quite dramatically (yes, I know that all but the goons referred to above should be able to understand this - but... they don't).
This is mainly a sexual health booklet, but it's got pictures of gay trans guys being decidedly... gay. And having lots of fun, it seems. Probably NSFW... depends on where you work, I suppose.
4) Sexual and reproductive health is a Good Thing, while I think on - this is one of the few areas in which trans people need to be treated according to their anatomy, not their brain sex or gender. But, be tactful about it?
5) Not many trans guys have genital surgery. Some, like me, aren't bothered either way (or would sooner chew off their own arms than allow a SCALPEL near their GENITALS - I have sympathy with that view as well); some just don't want "Frankenstein's Cock" as one guy put it - the available surgery leaves many guys dissatisfied.
6) BINGO! For those not familiar with the meme, people have been creating internets bingo cards about "contentious" issues for a while - for example, one about race might talk about the *very friendly* social masochist that I so often mention. So, these are things NOT to say.
7) Raven Kaldera suggests here that you don't say "but you're so short!" to a trans guy. I concur.
8) I can't find the Questionable Content comic that coins** the word "boobsplosion" to describe the act of a trans guy unbinding his breasts. Anyone want to post a link?
9) Erm... half-naked trans guys? Not very diverse. They mainly look like... well, me, were I all testosteroned-up. They're rather more attractive, though.
10) There's a stereotype about trans guys taking Women's Studies courses, in the hope that they'll find their inner woman. They don't, but they emerge with the ability to spot sexism from a mile off. When you meet a trans guy who is SRSLY FEMINIST, like me, don't get confused if he looks male - there could be reasons for that greater understanding.
11) While anti-trans violence disproportionately effects trans women (and ethnic minorities - like all random violence, it's generally racist and sexist as well as whatever else) I have to link to the Remembering Our Dead list. There are plenty of trans men, female genderqueers, etc. on there. The threat of violence is a daily reality for many of us. If I lived in a different neighbourhood, had different family or "friends" or a different skin colour, it would be close to miraculous if I was around to write this. Which brings me neatly to:
12) Trans people are not exaggerating about their experiences of discrimination. Yes, some of them are unbelievable; yes, they seem like stories from some Third World dictatorship, not modern Western "civilisation". But, they are true. Of course, that applies to many more well-known types of discrimination, too.
I'm not sure why I numbered these. They were disparate thoughts in my head.
Don't you feel informed now? Or not? Any questions?
*ha, the abbreviation of "serious" reads like Sex Reassignment Surgery, which is a little bit genital-obsessed as a name, is't not?
**it's not a coinage, it's a blending. Very few words are true coinages. Thought you might like to know that***
***why, I have no idea.
Journeys - and a solution to all the world's problems
I'm a bit on edge at the moment. This is because I'm trying to reconcile one of my greatest loves and one of my greatest hatreds.
This isn't going to be a particularly profound post. My love is for music festivals, my loathing for travelling. To get to Wacken Open Air next week, we have to travel on several different modes of transport - and if we miss the plane, or it's cancelled, we miss the festival.
I HATE travelling. By car, around the UK, it's fun, as there are very few surprises (well, there's the price of petrol I suppose, with which one can familiarise oneself if one needs a heart attack).
I HATE the uncertainty. I would love it if all public transport came at the allocated time and left at the allocated time - if nothing was ever, ever late or cancelled. My thoughts would be of future frolics at my destination, and I'd have time to read a few books.
Remember in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - specifically, the passage in which the protagonist has to have timetables made for every minute of every day, so he doesn't panic? That was one of the best descriptions in there.
Actually, I've said before that I can't cope with untruthful statements, unless I understand their value as a story or as a white lie. "8.30" on a bus timetable is NOT a white lie, if the bus comes at 8.52. It's an ordinary, stinkin' lie.
I'm impressively good at hiding my OCD and autism - until I have to go on a journey.
"Panic" isn't the word, because neurotypical people have panic attacks. The feeling is, physically, (according to people who've had heart attacks) exactly like a heart attack, but with a kind of mental freeze - it's impossible to think, and to speak in logical sentences.
Again, as depicted in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, some goon always tries to cuddle me or put a calming arm around my shoulders at that point. Those people are lucky that I'm not particularly strong.
Take this as a health and safety tip - don't try it.
I've actually forgotten what this post was supposed to be about.
I'll just concentrate on how head-asplodingly awesome some of the bands are.
Or I suppose I could talk about the Great Nightwish Controversy. Now, Nightwish wrote *our song* so don't worry, this is written with plenty of metallic emotional investment.
Yes, I realise we are both more butch than the song, but "Beer Beer" just *cannot* fill the same slot in one's life.
I saw the new Nightwish line-up in April. The couple I was with think that Annette Olson EATS RAW BABIES AND SUCKS DONKEY COCK (not that the two acts are comparable, the characters in Clerks II seemed to appreciate the latter).
I agree that she's a sub-standard singer, considering the quality of the other female metal vocalists about, and I'm assuming she aced the auditions because she's shagging one of the other band members.
And I'm glad I saw Nightwish's last performance with Tarja Turunen.
However, the vocals didn't depress me as much as they *angered* the other two (a note to some guys in the crowd - yes, these ladies are attractive Goth lesbians, no, they wouldn't be any use in your sex life if, indeed, you had one, please take your ungentlemanly remarks elsewhere).
This is because I think that Nightwish should be a karaoke opportunity! The rest of the band should come on and play, while everyone in the crowd strives for those high notes. If the vocals aren't (anything like) as good as Turunen's - try and sing over them.
This isn't going to be a particularly profound post. My love is for music festivals, my loathing for travelling. To get to Wacken Open Air next week, we have to travel on several different modes of transport - and if we miss the plane, or it's cancelled, we miss the festival.
I HATE travelling. By car, around the UK, it's fun, as there are very few surprises (well, there's the price of petrol I suppose, with which one can familiarise oneself if one needs a heart attack).
I HATE the uncertainty. I would love it if all public transport came at the allocated time and left at the allocated time - if nothing was ever, ever late or cancelled. My thoughts would be of future frolics at my destination, and I'd have time to read a few books.
Remember in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - specifically, the passage in which the protagonist has to have timetables made for every minute of every day, so he doesn't panic? That was one of the best descriptions in there.
Actually, I've said before that I can't cope with untruthful statements, unless I understand their value as a story or as a white lie. "8.30" on a bus timetable is NOT a white lie, if the bus comes at 8.52. It's an ordinary, stinkin' lie.
I'm impressively good at hiding my OCD and autism - until I have to go on a journey.
"Panic" isn't the word, because neurotypical people have panic attacks. The feeling is, physically, (according to people who've had heart attacks) exactly like a heart attack, but with a kind of mental freeze - it's impossible to think, and to speak in logical sentences.
Again, as depicted in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, some goon always tries to cuddle me or put a calming arm around my shoulders at that point. Those people are lucky that I'm not particularly strong.
Take this as a health and safety tip - don't try it.
I've actually forgotten what this post was supposed to be about.
I'll just concentrate on how head-asplodingly awesome some of the bands are.
Or I suppose I could talk about the Great Nightwish Controversy. Now, Nightwish wrote *our song* so don't worry, this is written with plenty of metallic emotional investment.
Yes, I realise we are both more butch than the song, but "Beer Beer" just *cannot* fill the same slot in one's life.
I saw the new Nightwish line-up in April. The couple I was with think that Annette Olson EATS RAW BABIES AND SUCKS DONKEY COCK (not that the two acts are comparable, the characters in Clerks II seemed to appreciate the latter).
I agree that she's a sub-standard singer, considering the quality of the other female metal vocalists about, and I'm assuming she aced the auditions because she's shagging one of the other band members.
And I'm glad I saw Nightwish's last performance with Tarja Turunen.
However, the vocals didn't depress me as much as they *angered* the other two (a note to some guys in the crowd - yes, these ladies are attractive Goth lesbians, no, they wouldn't be any use in your sex life if, indeed, you had one, please take your ungentlemanly remarks elsewhere).
This is because I think that Nightwish should be a karaoke opportunity! The rest of the band should come on and play, while everyone in the crowd strives for those high notes. If the vocals aren't (anything like) as good as Turunen's - try and sing over them.
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
WALL-E!
I'm typing this whole thing while wearing long fake fingernails (what is wrong with this picture? Oh yes, EVERYTHING). My friend and I thought yesterday that we'd practise our femmeness, and she proceeded to glue the things to my hands.
I don't have an alcoholic excuse or anything.
My friend removed her set after a couple of hours (because she'd gone through the usual post-urination machinations of hygiene with no adjustments, and was thus wincing a bit), but I think a REAL MAN isn't fazed by being unable to put on his own underwear.
We all went to see WALL-E yesterday. Well, I have nothing on Gareth now (when we saw Atonement at the cinema, he sobbed noisily throughout the second half) because I just cried all through the beginning of the film. It's the perfect portrayal of loneliness.
The only negative sentiment aroused in me by WALL-E was simple wonder at how our culture is disappearing up its own bum. It's a Disney film about the evils of an entertainment-based megacorporation.
Kate Bornstein discusses how the lead robots are not very gendered, so everyone sees their own happiest relationship - for example, ze sees a butch-femme interaction because ze's very femme.
I'll just happily believe that Disney/Pixar made the film with me in mind - look at EVE. It breaks everything it sees - it's slow to catch on to new ideas, but sticks to its guns - it even looks like the love of my life, with its penguinate form and adorable little face. Look at WALL-E - obsessive, tough on the outside but with romance in its soul.
I never promised a post that made sense.
I don't have an alcoholic excuse or anything.
My friend removed her set after a couple of hours (because she'd gone through the usual post-urination machinations of hygiene with no adjustments, and was thus wincing a bit), but I think a REAL MAN isn't fazed by being unable to put on his own underwear.
We all went to see WALL-E yesterday. Well, I have nothing on Gareth now (when we saw Atonement at the cinema, he sobbed noisily throughout the second half) because I just cried all through the beginning of the film. It's the perfect portrayal of loneliness.
The only negative sentiment aroused in me by WALL-E was simple wonder at how our culture is disappearing up its own bum. It's a Disney film about the evils of an entertainment-based megacorporation.
Kate Bornstein discusses how the lead robots are not very gendered, so everyone sees their own happiest relationship - for example, ze sees a butch-femme interaction because ze's very femme.
I'll just happily believe that Disney/Pixar made the film with me in mind - look at EVE. It breaks everything it sees - it's slow to catch on to new ideas, but sticks to its guns - it even looks like the love of my life, with its penguinate form and adorable little face. Look at WALL-E - obsessive, tough on the outside but with romance in its soul.
I never promised a post that made sense.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
So much death!
Well, you two might think like that now...
...but when you're both eaten by a dragon...
and you're in its stomach
...and the lights are low...
and the fumes are making you feel a little dizzy...
There's a facial expression that's very specific to people who have ever allowed a character created by Gareth to play in their game. Perhaps the wind changes, because the expression doesn't leave us for months on end...
If I tried to draw it with emoticons, the screen would explode... and the Internet itself. It could kill seventeen Internets.
Like, srsly - let your children play all the violent video games EVER. Let them watch every cinematic gore-fest EVER on repeat, FOREVER. Let them take A Clockwork Orange as their personal bible...
Just don't give 'em a pencil and paper!
(Wow, I have something in common with a few loons of the US religious Reich - I have a suspicion that D&D was put on this earth by Satan. I'd better treasure our common humanity for a little while...
OK, I'm done.)
...but when you're both eaten by a dragon...
and you're in its stomach
...and the lights are low...
and the fumes are making you feel a little dizzy...
There's a facial expression that's very specific to people who have ever allowed a character created by Gareth to play in their game. Perhaps the wind changes, because the expression doesn't leave us for months on end...
If I tried to draw it with emoticons, the screen would explode... and the Internet itself. It could kill seventeen Internets.
Like, srsly - let your children play all the violent video games EVER. Let them watch every cinematic gore-fest EVER on repeat, FOREVER. Let them take A Clockwork Orange as their personal bible...
Just don't give 'em a pencil and paper!
(Wow, I have something in common with a few loons of the US religious Reich - I have a suspicion that D&D was put on this earth by Satan. I'd better treasure our common humanity for a little while...
OK, I'm done.)
Friday, 18 July 2008
I'm nearly at the humorous cats...
Re yesterday's post about "shock", you know what is *surprising*?
This (click on the image to prove it is what it looks like, NSFW).
Holy motherfucking Christ on a unicycle!
Re the only comment so far - what dude in the whole wide world can't find a clitoris? Is he, in fact, imaginary? Does he know that socially masochistic black guy with all the racist friends? Has he ever had his car nicked while his dead grandmother was on the roof-rack*?
It's like not being able to find a specific tooth - yes, it's not an enormous body part, but it generally lives in the same place all on the women you meet.
*Someone I have ACTUALLY met is a walking urban myth. He was born with the coil clutched in his infant fist. His mother concurs, with a look in her eyes that suggests the story is really true...
This (click on the image to prove it is what it looks like, NSFW).
Holy motherfucking Christ on a unicycle!
Re the only comment so far - what dude in the whole wide world can't find a clitoris? Is he, in fact, imaginary? Does he know that socially masochistic black guy with all the racist friends? Has he ever had his car nicked while his dead grandmother was on the roof-rack*?
It's like not being able to find a specific tooth - yes, it's not an enormous body part, but it generally lives in the same place all on the women you meet.
*Someone I have ACTUALLY met is a walking urban myth. He was born with the coil clutched in his infant fist. His mother concurs, with a look in her eyes that suggests the story is really true...
Gee, Olly, calm down!
Yes! More passive-agressive blog posts that serve no useful purpose!
Edit: I has had apology. Now I feel embarrassed for being so upset. One really can't have everything...
So... my friend behaves like a complete arse, and ruins my day.
I get upset with him, and leave the building he is in, because ONE MORE SECOND of his presence and he will be seriously injured.
Later, he apologises to me - more a "I'm sorry you feel that way" apology than an "I'm sorry I behaved like that" one, but hell, that's all you ever get from him.
Because I'm aware that he will just *never understand* why his behaviour was upsetting, or even which part was upsetting, I decide to be polite, and I say something like "It's probably partially me, I haven't been feeling so good lately".
Throughout the next day, he makes "hilarious" comments about how irrational I am, and implying that he is the Great God of Magnanimity to forgive my existence.
Erm... NO, I was being NICE. I don't actually like upsetting him, so didn't want to say something like "So you should be! Your behaviour was absolutely terrible! I know the other guys are more relaxed about it than I am. This is because I am clinically depressed. I think I have hormonal problems because my brain knows that my body shouldn't be female. I think my friends should, incidentally, be supporting me when I'm very depressed. Also, I have more emotional investment in you behaving decently, because I am a closer friend than, say, that other guy over there, whom you just bewilder."
Also, he calls me *my old name* throughout the two days (everyone else now calls me "*my old name*ImeanOlli", which I don't mind*).
He then complains that we're not giving him a lift home! Which is eleven miles out of our way.
I've waited in vain for the grovelling apology for a week (Gareth just hasn't been waiting, because he spends less time on the metaphotical m00n than I do), so I'll show him this. If we don't get an apology then, I might keep his birthday present :-D
Now, feminists know about the fashionable C19th malady that was hysteria, yes? We know that the arguments of females can still be shattered with one well-placed "irrational" or "shrill". Women have no chance when that's coupled with their socialisation into hilariously polite individuals.
So... next time, I'm going to follow the other socialisation, the kind I'd have gone through had I not been trans. The guy kind.
I'll nut whoever it is in the face, because I reckon my skull's got to be more durable than the majority of noses. And I'll use the line "It's not me, it's you" a lot.
It can be a social experiment, if you like.
*apart from the Mr Bewildered, who has Stan Laurel hair and says "Gee, Olly," at every available opportunity, and some that aren't really opportunities at all.
Edit: I has had apology. Now I feel embarrassed for being so upset. One really can't have everything...
So... my friend behaves like a complete arse, and ruins my day.
I get upset with him, and leave the building he is in, because ONE MORE SECOND of his presence and he will be seriously injured.
Later, he apologises to me - more a "I'm sorry you feel that way" apology than an "I'm sorry I behaved like that" one, but hell, that's all you ever get from him.
Because I'm aware that he will just *never understand* why his behaviour was upsetting, or even which part was upsetting, I decide to be polite, and I say something like "It's probably partially me, I haven't been feeling so good lately".
Throughout the next day, he makes "hilarious" comments about how irrational I am, and implying that he is the Great God of Magnanimity to forgive my existence.
Erm... NO, I was being NICE. I don't actually like upsetting him, so didn't want to say something like "So you should be! Your behaviour was absolutely terrible! I know the other guys are more relaxed about it than I am. This is because I am clinically depressed. I think I have hormonal problems because my brain knows that my body shouldn't be female. I think my friends should, incidentally, be supporting me when I'm very depressed. Also, I have more emotional investment in you behaving decently, because I am a closer friend than, say, that other guy over there, whom you just bewilder."
Also, he calls me *my old name* throughout the two days (everyone else now calls me "*my old name*ImeanOlli", which I don't mind*).
He then complains that we're not giving him a lift home! Which is eleven miles out of our way.
I've waited in vain for the grovelling apology for a week (Gareth just hasn't been waiting, because he spends less time on the metaphotical m00n than I do), so I'll show him this. If we don't get an apology then, I might keep his birthday present :-D
Now, feminists know about the fashionable C19th malady that was hysteria, yes? We know that the arguments of females can still be shattered with one well-placed "irrational" or "shrill". Women have no chance when that's coupled with their socialisation into hilariously polite individuals.
So... next time, I'm going to follow the other socialisation, the kind I'd have gone through had I not been trans. The guy kind.
I'll nut whoever it is in the face, because I reckon my skull's got to be more durable than the majority of noses. And I'll use the line "It's not me, it's you" a lot.
It can be a social experiment, if you like.
*apart from the Mr Bewildered, who has Stan Laurel hair and says "Gee, Olly," at every available opportunity, and some that aren't really opportunities at all.
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Shock
If you spend any time around Gareth, light of my life and champion eater of dairy produce, you'll have been subjected to his "devaluation of verbal emphasis" speech.
For example, he thinks that people should stop saying "like, awesome" when they actually mean "yes, quite good".
I always dredge up historical examples at this point - what class of 16-year-olds doesn't laugh when Shakespeare says of his villain, "This naughty man,"?
Gareth thinks it's a reflection of our culture - we have to prove to everyone, constantly, that our lives are meaningful and full of interest; especially while our preoccupations become more and more shallow in reality.
I don't really mind the devaluation of positive emphasis - heck, we might start to believe what we're saying, and an obsessive love of something quite mediocre isn't all that bad a trait (Gareth's love of dairy products comes to mind for the second time). Cheerfulness never killed nobody, nohow.
No, what I don't like is the devaluation of negative statements. In the past few years it seems to have become fashionable to say "GOSH, this place is like working in a concentration camp," - is it? Is it *really*?
Just so we don't get into a logical loop, I understand when people exaggerate with humorous intent. That's why I'm *not* upset by jokes, as long as those jokes don't dehumanise anybody.
My absolute least favourite of the negative statements that are thrown around inappropriately is...
Shock. As in "I was shocked," or "Don't shock anybody,".
Physically, a state of shock can be fatal. The body is shutting down - therefore, I'd interpret the emotional equivalent as a feeling of horror, of disgust, that is so great that the human mind can't cope - news of a murder, or a rape, or rhetoric that is truly inhuman; betrayal by someone close to you; cruelty to the innocent or defenceless; they are all things that might cause it. The realisation that people are starving, all over the world, and the average person can do very little to save them.
Those things are shocking.
One of my friends has recently been betrayed by a close relative - she doesn't appear to be shocked, just sad. THAT shocks me, because she ought to believe that she is worth treating well.
(Gareth's just told me that, like everyone else, he feels betrayed by Nu Labour. I pointed out that he's only ever voted Lib Dem*. I feel that lacks the essential qualification for a betrayal)
Nudity isn't shocking. Pornography isn't shocking - it might shock and frighten children, because they might interpret even the most vanilla scenario as painful, and they certainly won't understand that the more extreme varieties are fictional. That's why it should be kept out of their hands.
Some kinds of pornography are *surprising* - "Egad, how does that go in THERE? It's bigger than her head!" as is a lot of nudity - "Gosh, those are hirsute buttocks you've got there."
"Bad" language is *surprising* if you hear it in some situations - "Would sir like some fucking mixed vegetables?"
An unusual hairstyle, particularly one that defies gravity, is also *surprising*, as are some more unusual body modifications - "How does that go in THERE?" is often a relevant question concerning those, too, I suppose.
What I'm trying to say is that, if you tell me how *shocking* it is that your new microwave has broken, or how *shocking* it is that that young man had his tie undone, I will be less than impressed.
In a few of these cases, the individuals concerned just have a dry sense of humour (people don't understand mine a lot of the time, so I get that). However, in the case of most of those people - they're being deadly, deadly serious.
As I probably said when ranting about Kim's bullies, why don't they just stand up and say "My life is so perfect! It's so perfect that I have the luxury of shock and horror whenever I encounter a new situation! Your life is terrible by comparison, because mine, you see, is perfect. Just thought I'd tell you that, in case I don't seem important enough."
They could say it repeatedly. We could allocate them certain times of the day, and the whole brouhaha would become a lot easier.
*Yes, from time to time he's eaten the ballot paper as an alternative, or stuffed it up the bum of a nearby hippopotamus - he obviously believes in his vote making a difference.
For example, he thinks that people should stop saying "like, awesome" when they actually mean "yes, quite good".
I always dredge up historical examples at this point - what class of 16-year-olds doesn't laugh when Shakespeare says of his villain, "This naughty man,"?
Gareth thinks it's a reflection of our culture - we have to prove to everyone, constantly, that our lives are meaningful and full of interest; especially while our preoccupations become more and more shallow in reality.
I don't really mind the devaluation of positive emphasis - heck, we might start to believe what we're saying, and an obsessive love of something quite mediocre isn't all that bad a trait (Gareth's love of dairy products comes to mind for the second time). Cheerfulness never killed nobody, nohow.
No, what I don't like is the devaluation of negative statements. In the past few years it seems to have become fashionable to say "GOSH, this place is like working in a concentration camp," - is it? Is it *really*?
Just so we don't get into a logical loop, I understand when people exaggerate with humorous intent. That's why I'm *not* upset by jokes, as long as those jokes don't dehumanise anybody.
My absolute least favourite of the negative statements that are thrown around inappropriately is...
Shock. As in "I was shocked," or "Don't shock anybody,".
Physically, a state of shock can be fatal. The body is shutting down - therefore, I'd interpret the emotional equivalent as a feeling of horror, of disgust, that is so great that the human mind can't cope - news of a murder, or a rape, or rhetoric that is truly inhuman; betrayal by someone close to you; cruelty to the innocent or defenceless; they are all things that might cause it. The realisation that people are starving, all over the world, and the average person can do very little to save them.
Those things are shocking.
One of my friends has recently been betrayed by a close relative - she doesn't appear to be shocked, just sad. THAT shocks me, because she ought to believe that she is worth treating well.
(Gareth's just told me that, like everyone else, he feels betrayed by Nu Labour. I pointed out that he's only ever voted Lib Dem*. I feel that lacks the essential qualification for a betrayal)
Nudity isn't shocking. Pornography isn't shocking - it might shock and frighten children, because they might interpret even the most vanilla scenario as painful, and they certainly won't understand that the more extreme varieties are fictional. That's why it should be kept out of their hands.
Some kinds of pornography are *surprising* - "Egad, how does that go in THERE? It's bigger than her head!" as is a lot of nudity - "Gosh, those are hirsute buttocks you've got there."
"Bad" language is *surprising* if you hear it in some situations - "Would sir like some fucking mixed vegetables?"
An unusual hairstyle, particularly one that defies gravity, is also *surprising*, as are some more unusual body modifications - "How does that go in THERE?" is often a relevant question concerning those, too, I suppose.
What I'm trying to say is that, if you tell me how *shocking* it is that your new microwave has broken, or how *shocking* it is that that young man had his tie undone, I will be less than impressed.
In a few of these cases, the individuals concerned just have a dry sense of humour (people don't understand mine a lot of the time, so I get that). However, in the case of most of those people - they're being deadly, deadly serious.
As I probably said when ranting about Kim's bullies, why don't they just stand up and say "My life is so perfect! It's so perfect that I have the luxury of shock and horror whenever I encounter a new situation! Your life is terrible by comparison, because mine, you see, is perfect. Just thought I'd tell you that, in case I don't seem important enough."
They could say it repeatedly. We could allocate them certain times of the day, and the whole brouhaha would become a lot easier.
*Yes, from time to time he's eaten the ballot paper as an alternative, or stuffed it up the bum of a nearby hippopotamus - he obviously believes in his vote making a difference.
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
Doctors vs. Comedians
If the progesterone-only pill, or, indeed, the "progestrogen-only FISH, wheeeeeeee, I am a moron" (see novel below) did cause male-pattern hair growth, I'm sure I would have noticed.
I'd be giving my GP some bullshit excuse by now about how I *really really* needed it...
If, like me, you stick your fingers in your ears and go "LALALALALALALA" whenever some ill-educated hack mentions Thomas Beattie, meaning that your fingers and ears have actually fused by now, you'll be relieved by the following joke from Mock the Week:
"What would you say to him, if you were a doctor?"
"Well, I'd say "The good news is, you've had a baby. The bad news is, it's blown your cock off,"."
If a real doctor, one I already knew, said that to me, as a joke... I would probably laugh so much that I peed myself a little bit.
Am I an oddity?
I'd be giving my GP some bullshit excuse by now about how I *really really* needed it...
If, like me, you stick your fingers in your ears and go "LALALALALALALA" whenever some ill-educated hack mentions Thomas Beattie, meaning that your fingers and ears have actually fused by now, you'll be relieved by the following joke from Mock the Week:
"What would you say to him, if you were a doctor?"
"Well, I'd say "The good news is, you've had a baby. The bad news is, it's blown your cock off,"."
If a real doctor, one I already knew, said that to me, as a joke... I would probably laugh so much that I peed myself a little bit.
Am I an oddity?
Doctors
This morning, I 'as mostly been STRUCK DUMB BY THE FALLING STUPID.
I have been helping with the exams of fourth year medical students, as a simulated patient. (A simulated patient pretends to be a real patient, yes? Good? Right? I have to check to see if the wilful idiocy is catching).
The students know we're not real patients, but they're supposed to act as if we are. Today, I was playing a patient in a very boring, ordinary scenario - a woman who wanted to go on the Pill, but had to take the mini one in order not to exacerbate her migraines. My friend Rebecca was playing someone with bipolar disorder - rather more interesting.
Note: I can slip back into "woman acting" whenever I like, as I did it for so long.
So, a fourth-year med student has been trained in medicine, and in communication skills, yes? Being fourth-year med students, they will have been trained in medicine, for four years?
Out of eighteen students:
To elaborate on the maths:
Student: "The failure rate is (made up percentage that is bollocks)"
Me (in polite ladylike tone) "Er... over what amount of time?"
Student: "The amount of time you take the pill."
Me (in polite ladylike tone) "I mean, is it the possible failure rate in one cycle, or a year, or just an average for all women over all the time they've taken it?
Student: "It's just the failure rate, however long you take it for."
Me: "..."
Student: (smirking in patronising manner) "You seem a bit lost. Shall I go through everything again?"
Now, I'm certain that all of those students (about 60% of whom were female) weren't all gay or celibate. Some of them must have wanted to prevent pregnancy at some point? Yes?
I knew all the differences between the two pills, and how they each compared to other methods of contraception. This is because I have used contraception in my life.
The examiner for my station explained to me that medical departments just aren't failing medical students any more, because universities are all competing for artificially high pass rates.
I vaguely knew that this was the case (though honestly, truly, it's not true for my degree course. Despite excellent teaching, we have a high rate of failures and drop-outs, and I haven't got over 60% so far).
It just didn't seem that important, because I'd seen it in disciplines where NOBODY DIES if you are Doin It Rong.
People with complex illnesses (like, actually, bipolar disorder) are often asked why they don't trust doctors. People who have not been ill but have had to go through medical procedures nonetheless, like transsexual people and pregnant women, are often asked why they don't trust doctors. They're asked this with the subtext "Are you a crazy paranoid loon?"
Because... because... oh, never mind.
I have been helping with the exams of fourth year medical students, as a simulated patient. (A simulated patient pretends to be a real patient, yes? Good? Right? I have to check to see if the wilful idiocy is catching).
The students know we're not real patients, but they're supposed to act as if we are. Today, I was playing a patient in a very boring, ordinary scenario - a woman who wanted to go on the Pill, but had to take the mini one in order not to exacerbate her migraines. My friend Rebecca was playing someone with bipolar disorder - rather more interesting.
Note: I can slip back into "woman acting" whenever I like, as I did it for so long.
So, a fourth-year med student has been trained in medicine, and in communication skills, yes? Being fourth-year med students, they will have been trained in medicine, for four years?
Out of eighteen students:
- Roughly 50% of them talked about the combined pill instead, under the name "mini pill" or "progesterone only pill"
- Several of these, of course, gave me advice that would almost certainly have resulted in pregnancy, as I would essentially have been having unprotected sex
- Two of them knew the failure rate of the mini pill. The rest made it up, with answers from 0.01% to 5%
- One of them just could not do Key Stage Three level mathematics - two others struggled
- Three of them didn't know the difference between "first day of your period" and "first day of your cycle"
- Two of them told me that I had an increased risk of ectopic pregnancies - FALSE - and one of these talked about the horrors of an ectopic pregnancy in great detail
- One told me that I was likely to have male-pattern hair growth - you know what, FALSE
- Edit: I forgot, "progestrogen" is not a hormone - and it wasn't a slip of the tongue. To this student, the substance under discussion was definitely progestrogen.
To elaborate on the maths:
Student: "The failure rate is (made up percentage that is bollocks)"
Me (in polite ladylike tone) "Er... over what amount of time?"
Student: "The amount of time you take the pill."
Me (in polite ladylike tone) "I mean, is it the possible failure rate in one cycle, or a year, or just an average for all women over all the time they've taken it?
Student: "It's just the failure rate, however long you take it for."
Me: "..."
Student: (smirking in patronising manner) "You seem a bit lost. Shall I go through everything again?"
Now, I'm certain that all of those students (about 60% of whom were female) weren't all gay or celibate. Some of them must have wanted to prevent pregnancy at some point? Yes?
I knew all the differences between the two pills, and how they each compared to other methods of contraception. This is because I have used contraception in my life.
The examiner for my station explained to me that medical departments just aren't failing medical students any more, because universities are all competing for artificially high pass rates.
I vaguely knew that this was the case (though honestly, truly, it's not true for my degree course. Despite excellent teaching, we have a high rate of failures and drop-outs, and I haven't got over 60% so far).
It just didn't seem that important, because I'd seen it in disciplines where NOBODY DIES if you are Doin It Rong.
People with complex illnesses (like, actually, bipolar disorder) are often asked why they don't trust doctors. People who have not been ill but have had to go through medical procedures nonetheless, like transsexual people and pregnant women, are often asked why they don't trust doctors. They're asked this with the subtext "Are you a crazy paranoid loon?"
Because... because... oh, never mind.
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
While I'm thinking of music, I'd secretly like to write songs like these.
They're by a trans guy, too (kinda obviously, considering it's the same voice throughout).
I just really like them. *wanders off to half-heartedly pursue musical career*
They're by a trans guy, too (kinda obviously, considering it's the same voice throughout).
I just really like them. *wanders off to half-heartedly pursue musical career*
Julie Walters is Julie Walters
Just to make things entirely clear, and to destroy some scurrilous rumours that are filling EVEN MY OWN HOME:
I did not see the film of Mamma Mia! today.
And IF I did, IF, I didn't enjoy it.
And we are certainly not going to fulfil ANY gay stereotypes by watching it over and over again for weeks until the quiet, affable neighbours come round with a chainsaw and destroy our TV and computer and vocal chords.
Because it's not very metal at all.
(actually, I think it's more metal than metal, because there are homoeroticism and skin-tight clothing and cheese, but it does lack essential musical ingredients)
wheeeeeeee! Musical theatre makes my happy place happy.
I did not see the film of Mamma Mia! today.
And IF I did, IF, I didn't enjoy it.
And we are certainly not going to fulfil ANY gay stereotypes by watching it over and over again for weeks until the quiet, affable neighbours come round with a chainsaw and destroy our TV and computer and vocal chords.
Because it's not very metal at all.
(actually, I think it's more metal than metal, because there are homoeroticism and skin-tight clothing and cheese, but it does lack essential musical ingredients)
wheeeeeeee! Musical theatre makes my happy place happy.
Monday, 14 July 2008
Macs are for LOSERS!111eleventy
Robert Webb was voted 88th in a poll of the world's sexiest men.
David Mitchell, his coconspirator, was not on the list.
WHY, women of the world? WHYWHYWHY?
He will be gay now. And he will stay with me forever. Mainly because I've locked him in my wardrobe.
kthx
David Mitchell, his coconspirator, was not on the list.
WHY, women of the world? WHYWHYWHY?
He will be gay now. And he will stay with me forever. Mainly because I've locked him in my wardrobe.
kthx
Hero(ine)s
These people should get as much recognition as possible for their courage.
1) Sameem Ali, a woman brought up partially in care and partially in an abusive home, forced into a "marriage" at 13 which she escaped for the sake of her son, and now a councillor in her home town of Manchester - of course, this was managed with no formal qualifications.
2) Father Louis Braxton - yes, I know that men of the cloth ought to intervene to protect the vulnerable like this priest did, but it's not exactly an everyday occurrence.
In lighter news, scroll down here and you'll find a photo of my maternal parent in an unfortunate outfit. If my grandma could, she'd still force us both to dress like that.
Now I come to think about it, if you leave a delicate garment in my parents' or grandparents' house for any length of time over thirty seconds, it is returned to you nice and clean by a beaming grandmother... approximately one-third of its original size, with no trace of its original colour or pattern.
By "delicate" I mean not constructed out of reinforced concrete.
It's a war of attrition against my masculine wardrobe and my mother's perfectly ordinary clothes, the kind that might be worn by a perfectly ordinary person (as opposed to flowery monstrosities).
At 13 and 14, I used to wear my (then long) hair in pigtails sometimes. I thought the look was obviously ironic, because the rest of me was swathed in black and spikes. It wasn't ironic enough for my grandmother. It was just *adorable*.
1) Sameem Ali, a woman brought up partially in care and partially in an abusive home, forced into a "marriage" at 13 which she escaped for the sake of her son, and now a councillor in her home town of Manchester - of course, this was managed with no formal qualifications.
2) Father Louis Braxton - yes, I know that men of the cloth ought to intervene to protect the vulnerable like this priest did, but it's not exactly an everyday occurrence.
In lighter news, scroll down here and you'll find a photo of my maternal parent in an unfortunate outfit. If my grandma could, she'd still force us both to dress like that.
Now I come to think about it, if you leave a delicate garment in my parents' or grandparents' house for any length of time over thirty seconds, it is returned to you nice and clean by a beaming grandmother... approximately one-third of its original size, with no trace of its original colour or pattern.
By "delicate" I mean not constructed out of reinforced concrete.
It's a war of attrition against my masculine wardrobe and my mother's perfectly ordinary clothes, the kind that might be worn by a perfectly ordinary person (as opposed to flowery monstrosities).
At 13 and 14, I used to wear my (then long) hair in pigtails sometimes. I thought the look was obviously ironic, because the rest of me was swathed in black and spikes. It wasn't ironic enough for my grandmother. It was just *adorable*.
Sunday, 13 July 2008
Wherein Olli is a hypocrite
Hokay, so - women who explain how you'll be SO GOOD TO YOURSELF and HAPPY and FULFILLED if only you think *just* like them...
Now, I know that the Powers that Be do that a lot, obviously, but it's somehow worse when given as friendly advice from people who should know better (supposedly feminist women).
Now, some could accuse me of hypocrisy - in the last year or so, I've told several women to leave partners/friends who were very obviously abusive. I haven't minced my words or abided by social niceties in any way.
Well, I might be a hypocrite, but I honestly don't care. There is a difference between women whose mental health is questionable owing to abuse, and women who are capable of making their own decisions. If you're the sort of "feminist" who doesn't agree, I will not start a dialogue with you, as *you* are deeply misogynistic.
So, Gareth and I are monoamorous, and I don't see that changing any time soon. Gareth's happy as he is, and I don't meet people as marriageable as him every day of the week. Or ever (if they were roaming the streets in dozens, we'd happily navigate a poly relationship).
Sexually, however, it's less clear-cut. If one of us wants sexual contact with someone, we have to gain both the consent of that person and our partner. If we don't get the consent of that partner, the other person must be immediately forgotten.
If I would feel jealous, I would say no. If Gareth would feel jealous, he would say no. If either of us didn't abide by a "no", we would be cheaters, the vilest of people.
If you think that you would sleep with EVERYONE IN THE WORLD in that kind of relationship, because it's AWESOME, you might be wrong... Our conquests each are seriously well in the lower half of single digits.
Because we don't fancy that many people.
And not many people fancy us.
And we both have lower than average libidos.
And we're both on the autism spectrum, so are unskilled in the art of seduction...
And we feel jealousy sometimes, like normal humans often do.
Now, we have rows and upsets. But they have never, ever been about anything to do with extramarital attraction, because we have the aforementioned arrangement, like, y'know, mature adults.
Why am I telling the world this? Because I don't want people to see me flirting with another human and think I'm cheating scum.
Because of not being cheating scum and all.
Also, I don't really like secrets - they resemble non-white lies too much.
On to this conversation, in which I have tried to break the arrangement gently to several people, all of whom have been women who are proud of being strong feminists who know their own minds:
"I wouldn't mind if Gareth slept with somebody else, as long as I'd consented beforehand,"
"Yes, you would. You would be hurt."
Well, as long as I know my own mind in this *purely hypothetical* situation that is, of course, *purely hypothetical* and has not been tested in practise in any way.
It always seems to be under a "we're all women here! And men are BASTARDS who will TAKE ADVANTAGE of you, ALWAYS, ALL MEN, ALL THE TIME, and you are an innocent little flower who couldn't possibly FIND THE IDEA ATTRACTIVE SOMETIMES because that would be like AROUSAL, and we're ACTUALLY IN EIGHTEEN-FIFTY-EIGHT" subtext.
And no, it's not different for me because I don't ID as a woman, and "gay men can do that sort of thing". Many women are consensually nonmonogamous! Many women are polyamorous! They are real women, not crazy loons who live solely in the imaginations of straight men.
Of course, females in poly relationships must have this nonsense much worse, and it must hurt worse because they're actually in love with their other partners. It's pure virgin-whore dichotomy patriarchal nonsense - and, of course, pure SEX! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR! I WILL OBSESS OVER IT 4 U! disguised as "Honestly, these people are sex-obsessed".
Because we've *never* seen that attitude in sexism... homophobia... transphobia... everything that's bad.
On to happier subjects - we played D&D today, and had many encounters of the random (draconic) kind. And lots of food and good coffee. I need to do something nice for the people who made us all the food and coffee.
Now, I know that the Powers that Be do that a lot, obviously, but it's somehow worse when given as friendly advice from people who should know better (supposedly feminist women).
Now, some could accuse me of hypocrisy - in the last year or so, I've told several women to leave partners/friends who were very obviously abusive. I haven't minced my words or abided by social niceties in any way.
Well, I might be a hypocrite, but I honestly don't care. There is a difference between women whose mental health is questionable owing to abuse, and women who are capable of making their own decisions. If you're the sort of "feminist" who doesn't agree, I will not start a dialogue with you, as *you* are deeply misogynistic.
So, Gareth and I are monoamorous, and I don't see that changing any time soon. Gareth's happy as he is, and I don't meet people as marriageable as him every day of the week. Or ever (if they were roaming the streets in dozens, we'd happily navigate a poly relationship).
Sexually, however, it's less clear-cut. If one of us wants sexual contact with someone, we have to gain both the consent of that person and our partner. If we don't get the consent of that partner, the other person must be immediately forgotten.
If I would feel jealous, I would say no. If Gareth would feel jealous, he would say no. If either of us didn't abide by a "no", we would be cheaters, the vilest of people.
If you think that you would sleep with EVERYONE IN THE WORLD in that kind of relationship, because it's AWESOME, you might be wrong... Our conquests each are seriously well in the lower half of single digits.
Because we don't fancy that many people.
And not many people fancy us.
And we both have lower than average libidos.
And we're both on the autism spectrum, so are unskilled in the art of seduction...
And we feel jealousy sometimes, like normal humans often do.
Now, we have rows and upsets. But they have never, ever been about anything to do with extramarital attraction, because we have the aforementioned arrangement, like, y'know, mature adults.
Why am I telling the world this? Because I don't want people to see me flirting with another human and think I'm cheating scum.
Because of not being cheating scum and all.
Also, I don't really like secrets - they resemble non-white lies too much.
On to this conversation, in which I have tried to break the arrangement gently to several people, all of whom have been women who are proud of being strong feminists who know their own minds:
"I wouldn't mind if Gareth slept with somebody else, as long as I'd consented beforehand,"
"Yes, you would. You would be hurt."
Well, as long as I know my own mind in this *purely hypothetical* situation that is, of course, *purely hypothetical* and has not been tested in practise in any way.
It always seems to be under a "we're all women here! And men are BASTARDS who will TAKE ADVANTAGE of you, ALWAYS, ALL MEN, ALL THE TIME, and you are an innocent little flower who couldn't possibly FIND THE IDEA ATTRACTIVE SOMETIMES because that would be like AROUSAL, and we're ACTUALLY IN EIGHTEEN-FIFTY-EIGHT" subtext.
And no, it's not different for me because I don't ID as a woman, and "gay men can do that sort of thing". Many women are consensually nonmonogamous! Many women are polyamorous! They are real women, not crazy loons who live solely in the imaginations of straight men.
Of course, females in poly relationships must have this nonsense much worse, and it must hurt worse because they're actually in love with their other partners. It's pure virgin-whore dichotomy patriarchal nonsense - and, of course, pure SEX! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR! I WILL OBSESS OVER IT 4 U! disguised as "Honestly, these people are sex-obsessed".
Because we've *never* seen that attitude in sexism... homophobia... transphobia... everything that's bad.
On to happier subjects - we played D&D today, and had many encounters of the random (draconic) kind. And lots of food and good coffee. I need to do something nice for the people who made us all the food and coffee.
Saturday, 12 July 2008
Interior Decor
I'm currently feeling like a rich person, as I'm staying over at my friend Luke's house - it's like a TV house, with a TV family in it.
I mean television, not transvestite.
And I don't mean the kind of television that's so prevalent nowadays, where the audience is invited to point and laugh at stupid people with rubbish lives... I mean fictional television, where everything is nice and shiny and pleasant and REALLY BLOODY EXPENSIVE.
*loses all genetic Commie leanings & desire to take archaeology (the paupers' discipline) any further*
Remind me to talk tomorrow about sexist pseudofeminists. "You think x, because all females think x! Don't treat yourself badly by saying you think y!"
Yes, I know that several people on my blogroll talk about the same thing more eloquently, but it's been affecting me personally more and more.
And I'll also talk about why I don't self-identify as an astronaut.
And link to an AWESOME AWESOME thing about the geek lifestyle.
bed now, kthxbai.
I mean television, not transvestite.
And I don't mean the kind of television that's so prevalent nowadays, where the audience is invited to point and laugh at stupid people with rubbish lives... I mean fictional television, where everything is nice and shiny and pleasant and REALLY BLOODY EXPENSIVE.
*loses all genetic Commie leanings & desire to take archaeology (the paupers' discipline) any further*
Remind me to talk tomorrow about sexist pseudofeminists. "You think x, because all females think x! Don't treat yourself badly by saying you think y!"
Yes, I know that several people on my blogroll talk about the same thing more eloquently, but it's been affecting me personally more and more.
And I'll also talk about why I don't self-identify as an astronaut.
And link to an AWESOME AWESOME thing about the geek lifestyle.
bed now, kthxbai.
Friday, 11 July 2008
Comments and Wives
OK, OK, comments are on already.
But y'all have to comment now.
Gareth and I are jokingly searching for a wife, because obviously I don't fit the bill and neither does he.
We need someone who will nurture and cuddle Gareth when he breaks a wall with his leg, rather than, say, point and laugh for half an hour.
Someone who won't tell any lie possible to get out of the washing up. "Everyone I have ever loved died in a freak cyclone today, so I don't quite feel up to it."
Though Moominmamma, that most nurturing and wifely of fictional characters, keeps the dirty plates under the bed and carries them outside when it rains.
Awesome! We'd both forget to take them outside :-)
But y'all have to comment now.
Gareth and I are jokingly searching for a wife, because obviously I don't fit the bill and neither does he.
We need someone who will nurture and cuddle Gareth when he breaks a wall with his leg, rather than, say, point and laugh for half an hour.
Someone who won't tell any lie possible to get out of the washing up. "Everyone I have ever loved died in a freak cyclone today, so I don't quite feel up to it."
Though Moominmamma, that most nurturing and wifely of fictional characters, keeps the dirty plates under the bed and carries them outside when it rains.
Awesome! We'd both forget to take them outside :-)
For a Ginger Lady
The incidents I'm about to describe happened over a month ago, but still infuriate me - and I want to examine why.
I also want to make myself feel better by posting a passive-aggressive rant about someone I don't like - well, why do y'all think they invented the blogosphere?
So, I have a good friend whose name is Kim (she's doing the best she can with Kimberley Leeanne - and no, I'm not giving her a pseudonym, because she has nothing to be ashamed of, and is awesome in every way).
In many ways, she is an ideal of 21st-century womanhood. Both attractive and smart, she refuses to take shit from anyone - but she's still nurturing and caring (yeah, personally, on that coach trip, I would have moved seats away from the girl whose face threatened projectile vomit, not looked after her...). Kim also has a strong County Durham accent and insatiable curiosity.
Most of the people doing my degree don't have regional accents. The department - heck, the university - is full of public school alumni, who seem to specialise in saying clueless things about people outside their arenas of experience.
Anyway, the godly Martin Carver (eminent archaeologist is eminent) was talking about the African Burial Ground in NY. It seems that some authorities fought some rather more ethical authorities over the remains therefrom, and the remains themselves got moved around quite a bit. They even spent a while stored in the World Trade Center.
When this was mentioned, Kim asked (I remember this verbatim) "But the whole thing over the bones was quite recent, wasn't it? Were they still there during 9/11, confusing the firemen?"
Whereupon one girl took it upon herself to tell everyone, loudly, how OFFENSIVE that remark had been and how HORRIBLE and OFFENSIVE she found it.
After the lecture, when she wasn't *supposed* to be sitting silently, she strode up to Kim and shouted at her. Whereupon, I said (verbatim) "Who is it offensive to?"
She then said, "*my old name* I wasn't talking to YOU!"
Having realised that I was dealing with a person who thought she could choose who replied when she spoke I started shouting back :-D
Then she proceeded to tell Kim that, by disagreeing with her, Kim was removing her freedom of speech.
During the next few days, I heard this girl
1) Call someone a "retard"
2) Sit there saying nothing while someone else used "retard" repeatedly
3) Laugh when someone compared his fieldwork experience to "a concentration camp"
And I spent as little time with her as possible. I wonder what else she found funny?
So, y'know, it becomes crystal fucking clear that this girl's vendetta against Kim doesn't come from a desire to uphold standards of decent human behaviour. It comes from her DARING to be working-class and wanting to make something of herself, DARING to have a regional accent and to STILL WANT HER VOICE HEARD, and DARING to argue with her "betters".
I wouldn't be upset if this girl was just one lonely asshat. In fact, however, we found Kim crying that next Monday - it seemed that everyone on the course found her offensive.
Not everyone, exactly - everyone with the same level of privilege in their background, who had never heard somebody from the ACTUAL REAL WORLD say ACTUAL THINGS before.
And they still laugh at her when she doesn't know a long word, at a dyslexic woman who grew up on a council estate.
And they talk about her in terms designed to denigrate all "mouthy" women. I wish I could revoke all their rights when they do - guess what, "gobby" women, women who weren't nice, "appropriate" young ladies - earned them.
Kim had tried so, so hard to come to university. She had worked more than any of them could even imagine. She is as strong as anything. And these people had reduced her to tears - something all kinds of abuse rarely managed.
I was angry at these people for another reason, too. Hasn't anyone who knows anything about American politics noted the reason for their national oversensitivity? Their ridiculous insistence that everything said, everything, has to be beautifully patriotic?
Their politicians want us to forget the children without health insurance; the elderly people, many veterans, starving in their homes; police and other official brutality towards people who have dared to be poor or black; the fact that millions of people are living in third world conditions in a First World superpower. Yes, actual third world conditions. Where running water is an unobtainable luxury. Those kinds of third world conditions.
How about they stop contributing to that culture of silence? No, but as I know by your treatment of Kim, those people are obviously less than people to them.
Hmm. I guess I know why I'm angry now.
edit: this post seems to be mainly about teh womens - I'm not letting the other guys get off scot-free. I was the only guy chivalrous enough to stand up for a woman who was very obviously being bullied. I don't care how many rugby medals and penises you have, I might revoke your right to self-define as men...
I also want to make myself feel better by posting a passive-aggressive rant about someone I don't like - well, why do y'all think they invented the blogosphere?
So, I have a good friend whose name is Kim (she's doing the best she can with Kimberley Leeanne - and no, I'm not giving her a pseudonym, because she has nothing to be ashamed of, and is awesome in every way).
In many ways, she is an ideal of 21st-century womanhood. Both attractive and smart, she refuses to take shit from anyone - but she's still nurturing and caring (yeah, personally, on that coach trip, I would have moved seats away from the girl whose face threatened projectile vomit, not looked after her...). Kim also has a strong County Durham accent and insatiable curiosity.
Most of the people doing my degree don't have regional accents. The department - heck, the university - is full of public school alumni, who seem to specialise in saying clueless things about people outside their arenas of experience.
Anyway, the godly Martin Carver (eminent archaeologist is eminent) was talking about the African Burial Ground in NY. It seems that some authorities fought some rather more ethical authorities over the remains therefrom, and the remains themselves got moved around quite a bit. They even spent a while stored in the World Trade Center.
When this was mentioned, Kim asked (I remember this verbatim) "But the whole thing over the bones was quite recent, wasn't it? Were they still there during 9/11, confusing the firemen?"
Whereupon one girl took it upon herself to tell everyone, loudly, how OFFENSIVE that remark had been and how HORRIBLE and OFFENSIVE she found it.
After the lecture, when she wasn't *supposed* to be sitting silently, she strode up to Kim and shouted at her. Whereupon, I said (verbatim) "Who is it offensive to?"
She then said, "*my old name* I wasn't talking to YOU!"
Having realised that I was dealing with a person who thought she could choose who replied when she spoke I started shouting back :-D
Then she proceeded to tell Kim that, by disagreeing with her, Kim was removing her freedom of speech.
During the next few days, I heard this girl
1) Call someone a "retard"
2) Sit there saying nothing while someone else used "retard" repeatedly
3) Laugh when someone compared his fieldwork experience to "a concentration camp"
And I spent as little time with her as possible. I wonder what else she found funny?
So, y'know, it becomes crystal fucking clear that this girl's vendetta against Kim doesn't come from a desire to uphold standards of decent human behaviour. It comes from her DARING to be working-class and wanting to make something of herself, DARING to have a regional accent and to STILL WANT HER VOICE HEARD, and DARING to argue with her "betters".
I wouldn't be upset if this girl was just one lonely asshat. In fact, however, we found Kim crying that next Monday - it seemed that everyone on the course found her offensive.
Not everyone, exactly - everyone with the same level of privilege in their background, who had never heard somebody from the ACTUAL REAL WORLD say ACTUAL THINGS before.
And they still laugh at her when she doesn't know a long word, at a dyslexic woman who grew up on a council estate.
And they talk about her in terms designed to denigrate all "mouthy" women. I wish I could revoke all their rights when they do - guess what, "gobby" women, women who weren't nice, "appropriate" young ladies - earned them.
Kim had tried so, so hard to come to university. She had worked more than any of them could even imagine. She is as strong as anything. And these people had reduced her to tears - something all kinds of abuse rarely managed.
I was angry at these people for another reason, too. Hasn't anyone who knows anything about American politics noted the reason for their national oversensitivity? Their ridiculous insistence that everything said, everything, has to be beautifully patriotic?
Their politicians want us to forget the children without health insurance; the elderly people, many veterans, starving in their homes; police and other official brutality towards people who have dared to be poor or black; the fact that millions of people are living in third world conditions in a First World superpower. Yes, actual third world conditions. Where running water is an unobtainable luxury. Those kinds of third world conditions.
How about they stop contributing to that culture of silence? No, but as I know by your treatment of Kim, those people are obviously less than people to them.
Hmm. I guess I know why I'm angry now.
edit: this post seems to be mainly about teh womens - I'm not letting the other guys get off scot-free. I was the only guy chivalrous enough to stand up for a woman who was very obviously being bullied. I don't care how many rugby medals and penises you have, I might revoke your right to self-define as men...
Thursday, 10 July 2008
Whoops
Perhaps I should have started driving lessons aged 16, like my partner did. I think I'm too old for this lark.
6.45pm: Olli sets out with his driving instructor.
7.05pm: Car in front of Olli becomes stationary.
7.05pm: Olli doesn't, and tries to continue careering along at 25.
7.06pm: Olli cries girly tears of humiliation.
7.06pm: It is discovered that it's only a paint job. Olli begins to believe in miracles.
7.10pm: Olli has forgotten how to drive altogether now.
7.45pm: Olli comes home and drinks.
I just can't multitask. Why didn't I stop? I was busy!
6.45pm: Olli sets out with his driving instructor.
7.05pm: Car in front of Olli becomes stationary.
7.05pm: Olli doesn't, and tries to continue careering along at 25.
7.06pm: Olli cries girly tears of humiliation.
7.06pm: It is discovered that it's only a paint job. Olli begins to believe in miracles.
7.10pm: Olli has forgotten how to drive altogether now.
7.45pm: Olli comes home and drinks.
I just can't multitask. Why didn't I stop? I was busy!
Yerwhat?
If someone on a low income owns a car, is it likely to be a) a new car, or b) an old car?
Can someone on a low income a) buy a new car at will, or does ze b) have to keep the car ze has?
So... how EXACTLY is the new road tax not just money with menaces?
"Either do something you are unable to do, or give us the cash. You there! Yes, you on 10k. You obviously have a lot of money to spare, during this recession."
OK then, Chelsea tractors. Will someone on a high income, when given the choice between doing what ze likes and paying a few hundred pounds a) stop doing what ze likes, or b) pay a few hundred pounds?
Oh well! When all the working- and lower middle- classes have given up and gone on the dole, we'll get other people's money given to us in nice little parcels, to buy exactly what the government thinks is good for us. Isn't that life-affirming?
Before I explode:
Gareth points out that only this song can be guaranteed to depress both kinds of binary transsexual person...
(curiously, not me - if I am FtM rather than FtX, the initialism must be reconsidered as Failed to Mature... lulz penis)
Can someone on a low income a) buy a new car at will, or does ze b) have to keep the car ze has?
So... how EXACTLY is the new road tax not just money with menaces?
"Either do something you are unable to do, or give us the cash. You there! Yes, you on 10k. You obviously have a lot of money to spare, during this recession."
OK then, Chelsea tractors. Will someone on a high income, when given the choice between doing what ze likes and paying a few hundred pounds a) stop doing what ze likes, or b) pay a few hundred pounds?
Oh well! When all the working- and lower middle- classes have given up and gone on the dole, we'll get other people's money given to us in nice little parcels, to buy exactly what the government thinks is good for us. Isn't that life-affirming?
Before I explode:
Gareth points out that only this song can be guaranteed to depress both kinds of binary transsexual person...
(curiously, not me - if I am FtM rather than FtX, the initialism must be reconsidered as Failed to Mature... lulz penis)
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Toiletgate, part fifty gazillion
I quite fancied going to Pride London this year, and would have done had I not been in Wales with my family.
But, as it turns out, the L! G!! B ...t movement is as farsighted as ever...
And wait just one second - the toilet options, AT PRIDE, which is an LGBT PRIDE EVENT, you know, an EVENT that celebrates LGBT PRIDE, are "men's", "women's" and "disabled"?
Oh, the stupid. The burning, burning stupid.
If I wasn't in a gay relationship, my homophobia would rival that of the Pope or Jeremy Clarkson, thanks to this kind of nonsense.
Oh, and Reason for Trans Separatism no. 1753, of which I have just thought: doesn't Joe Public have the words TRANSSEXUAL, SEX, SEX SEX SEX, SHEMALE, SEX and SEX all mixed up in his head? Just before he makes something sticky?
Therefore, isn't incorporation in a homosexual and bisexual initialism going to muddy the waters a bit more? Encourage people to think about an ev0l autogynephilic rapist straw man, rather than, you know, trans women?
I suppose there's the bigger issue of the perception that L, G, B and Q "lifestyles" are all about sex, that partnership and love don't get a look-in.
And the obvious fact that bigots don't differentiate between, say, a camp gay man, a male genderqueer and a trans woman.
So, we do rather need to be fighting shoulder to shoulder. I just wish that our supposed allies would make that a bit easier.
But, as it turns out, the L! G!! B ...t movement is as farsighted as ever...
And wait just one second - the toilet options, AT PRIDE, which is an LGBT PRIDE EVENT, you know, an EVENT that celebrates LGBT PRIDE, are "men's", "women's" and "disabled"?
Oh, the stupid. The burning, burning stupid.
If I wasn't in a gay relationship, my homophobia would rival that of the Pope or Jeremy Clarkson, thanks to this kind of nonsense.
Oh, and Reason for Trans Separatism no. 1753, of which I have just thought: doesn't Joe Public have the words TRANSSEXUAL, SEX, SEX SEX SEX, SHEMALE, SEX and SEX all mixed up in his head? Just before he makes something sticky?
Therefore, isn't incorporation in a homosexual and bisexual initialism going to muddy the waters a bit more? Encourage people to think about an ev0l autogynephilic rapist straw man, rather than, you know, trans women?
I suppose there's the bigger issue of the perception that L, G, B and Q "lifestyles" are all about sex, that partnership and love don't get a look-in.
And the obvious fact that bigots don't differentiate between, say, a camp gay man, a male genderqueer and a trans woman.
So, we do rather need to be fighting shoulder to shoulder. I just wish that our supposed allies would make that a bit easier.
Good stuff
Look, I've got free time this afternoon and no more free time EVAR.
My partner has bought me a remote-controlled toy car.
We're having an EPIC MARATHON SESSION (of Dungeons and Dragons, of course, what else?) this weekend. If you think that sounds nerdy, guess what tattoo I'm getting come September? I've got an archaeological half sleeve already.
We're going to Wacken Open Air, on that mythical pilgrimage in the land where beer comes in litres.
I'm naked on Youtube (not linking it, use your nous from my links).
I'm going to have a male name soon.
An actor I know, David Toole, popped up in a film I just watched (Amazing Grace, with an unreasonably sexy portrayal of William Wilberforce).
This is an extremely good song.
That is all.
My partner has bought me a remote-controlled toy car.
We're having an EPIC MARATHON SESSION (of Dungeons and Dragons, of course, what else?) this weekend. If you think that sounds nerdy, guess what tattoo I'm getting come September? I've got an archaeological half sleeve already.
We're going to Wacken Open Air, on that mythical pilgrimage in the land where beer comes in litres.
I'm naked on Youtube (not linking it, use your nous from my links).
I'm going to have a male name soon.
An actor I know, David Toole, popped up in a film I just watched (Amazing Grace, with an unreasonably sexy portrayal of William Wilberforce).
This is an extremely good song.
That is all.
Where they killed all the Jews
Moar socio-political obviousness - I promise I'll post some humourous pictures of cats later.
When someone says "I'm not racist, but..."
is the second part of the sentence always a) an honest, vicious, heroic attack on the ev0l forces of political correctness that have EATED OUR WORLD...
Or is it b) racist?
Secondly, is there this one masochistic black guy out there (not in the good S/M way, I mean in the self-esteem way) who makes friends with racists all the time, thus enabling them to use him as an example of his kind?
'Cause he has a packed social schedule.
aside: I've got far more white friends than minority ethnic friends. This is because I live in York, the whitest town in Britain. My grandparents always refused to move there because it's "where they killed all the Jews".
aside mk. II: That particular pogrom occurred in 1190.
When someone says "I'm not racist, but..."
is the second part of the sentence always a) an honest, vicious, heroic attack on the ev0l forces of political correctness that have EATED OUR WORLD...
Or is it b) racist?
Secondly, is there this one masochistic black guy out there (not in the good S/M way, I mean in the self-esteem way) who makes friends with racists all the time, thus enabling them to use him as an example of his kind?
'Cause he has a packed social schedule.
aside: I've got far more white friends than minority ethnic friends. This is because I live in York, the whitest town in Britain. My grandparents always refused to move there because it's "where they killed all the Jews".
aside mk. II: That particular pogrom occurred in 1190.
Lying
I love fiction, but I don't like lies. Apparently, this is a symptom of my autism, and everyone else loves lying. And loves being lied to. And thinks that lies are gosh-darned wonderful. I've just about grasped white lies, and have been known to tell one or two of the "Yes, I totally remembered your birthday! It is SO remembered! Remembered it is!" stripe.
I've grasped that the purpose of lies is to avoid hurt feelings. Other lies... my sad little "But, but, that's not TRUE!" is drowned out by the general noise of the world.
My uncle lives in the Netherlands, which doesn't have as vast a tabloid media as the UK. He therefore has the energy to actually become upset at factual errata in newspapers.
"Look, this is about Putin and Russia - it calls them "the Reds". What Reds? THERE ARE NO REDS! Do they write that we're still at war with Adolf Hitler? Because that would make a great story too..."
I know one Red in person, I suppose. He sleeps for half the day and spends the other half driving his wheelchair into things. He is not a Threat to the Free World.
I'm not even sure that it's rabid media bigotry that gets me upset. Maybe it's just when the "facts" therein are irrevocably Wrong (as an ev0l modernist I'd argue that the two often coincide, but I can see why others would disagree).
I like tabloids for the naked ladies, but for some reason my eyes always stray towards the words.
They vary even less, nowadays. First page: denouncement of a gang of youths who have murdered some poor bastard.
Second page: incitement to hatred of a particular group, or at least denial of their personhood.
Moonlogic? ANYONE out there not enjoying the moonlogic?
Maybe it is the bigotry that upsets me after all. When someone finds me an opinion both bigoted and factually correct, I'll know the difference.
I've grasped that the purpose of lies is to avoid hurt feelings. Other lies... my sad little "But, but, that's not TRUE!" is drowned out by the general noise of the world.
My uncle lives in the Netherlands, which doesn't have as vast a tabloid media as the UK. He therefore has the energy to actually become upset at factual errata in newspapers.
"Look, this is about Putin and Russia - it calls them "the Reds". What Reds? THERE ARE NO REDS! Do they write that we're still at war with Adolf Hitler? Because that would make a great story too..."
I know one Red in person, I suppose. He sleeps for half the day and spends the other half driving his wheelchair into things. He is not a Threat to the Free World.
I'm not even sure that it's rabid media bigotry that gets me upset. Maybe it's just when the "facts" therein are irrevocably Wrong (as an ev0l modernist I'd argue that the two often coincide, but I can see why others would disagree).
I like tabloids for the naked ladies, but for some reason my eyes always stray towards the words.
They vary even less, nowadays. First page: denouncement of a gang of youths who have murdered some poor bastard.
Second page: incitement to hatred of a particular group, or at least denial of their personhood.
Moonlogic? ANYONE out there not enjoying the moonlogic?
Maybe it is the bigotry that upsets me after all. When someone finds me an opinion both bigoted and factually correct, I'll know the difference.
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Greetings
Hey up.
I shan't introduce myself, because I'm in the process of changing my name, and haven't decided upon a middle one yet. This is because I'm trans ZOMG TRANNIES ON TEH INTERNETS.
Did you know how *easy* it is to change one's legal name? Dontcha want to be called Cholmondely St Cuthbert Fish, just for a week or so?
I'll post a profile pic and stuff, and be back later.
I shan't introduce myself, because I'm in the process of changing my name, and haven't decided upon a middle one yet. This is because I'm trans ZOMG TRANNIES ON TEH INTERNETS.
Did you know how *easy* it is to change one's legal name? Dontcha want to be called Cholmondely St Cuthbert Fish, just for a week or so?
I'll post a profile pic and stuff, and be back later.
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