Friday, 25 July 2008


Yesterday, my friend David was discussing the stupidity of the customers who phone his company. He says they get a heck of a lot of Daily Mail readers, and a lot of people who can't do basic adding up "I've just phoned you to ask what £21.99 plus £4.99 is".

Hmm, could the two things POSSIBLY be connected? Perhaps they think that maths is deeply suspect, as it was invented by Asians.

In the same vein m00nlogicwise, I mention that the US Religious Reich is now boycotting McDonald's (I'm not linking to that kind of website!) because it scored 85 on a "Corporate Equality Index" (i.e. it has pledged not to be homophobic).

Me: "But... what will they eat now? I thought American bigots ate lots of fast food. Are they gonna lose a lot of weight? What are they going to eat instead?"

David: "KFC?"

L: (deadpan) "Negroes."

Laugh now, and you're a Bad Person. Don't laugh, and you might have had your sense of humour surgically removed.

Incidentally, this conversation was on the way to the cinema to see The Dark Knight (review: stuff asploded). Directly behind me in the cinema was The World's Fifth Most Annoying Person, whom I will henceforth call Daft Bint.

Daft Bint was obviously under the impression that the film *really* needed ad libbing, and God had chosen her for the task. Also, she took a while to understand the very predictable plot twists, but she made sure her boyfriend knew about them once she did.



"OOOOOOOH." (not an orgasm, a noise of excitement whenever something blew up... or there was an action scene of any stripe... or, when anything happened, really)

Also, she couldn't sit still for over a microsecond.

Ascuse me, I has fed you your own mouth.

I'd better add a disclaimer: Y'know, I don't hang around with people who would *really* use the word "Negro".

1 comment:

Gareth said...

I didn't hear that much of it to be fair, this is becasue the girl behind ME spend the film breathing in short, loud gasps through her mouth... At first I thought something 'dodgy' was going on, but after a while I realesed that she was just breathing loudly through her mouth.